F$@%ing Previous Owner (RANT)

[Kalevera]

Well, after seeing three mechanics (including the present), my car is now in the capable hands of Bret Anderson at KMS. Hopefully, after next week, and about $3000, it will be usable for another six months.

Everybody who knows me thinks I'm CRAZY, my mom now makes jokes about my car to her friends and they think I'm an idiot.

After buying this car (as a project) and rebuilding the suspension, I was unable to resolve the no reverse and EML issues on my own. Given what the PO told me about these issues, I was confident that I could solve them, especially since he had "two ASE certified mechanics" look at it, and I had the company of my Bentley's and access to BIMMER.INFO. Well, as I'm slowly learning, *NEVER TRUST THE PO....EVER*.

Case(S) in point:

Symptom: No reverse
PO sez: "the transmision lost its programing so it will have to be taken to a BMW dealer where its a pretty simple task of reprogramming the computer that controles that opperation"
Mechanic #1 (local gas station tire guy) sez: "You need a new transmission. Usually when the reverse goes out, that's an indication that the pump is going bad"
Mechanic #2 (local euro/import specialist with too many hondas to work on) sez: "We checked the selector linkage and it was fine. You need a new transmission"
Bret Anderson sez: "The F clutch is destroyed, hard parts are broken...Time for a ZF reman"

Conclusion?! The PO is a lying scumbag POS

Sweet irony: I vowed that I'd never throw money at a ZF slushbox. Well, it will take 3+ weeks to have someone else do a conversion, now I'm STUCK somewhere where I don't have the tools to do it myself, AND I *have* to have the car working by next week. Oh well, at least it's a ZF reman.


Symptom: Weird electrical issues; EML light always on; Central Locking doesn't work, although I can hear the relay clicking - locks can't be manually actuated.
PO sez: *does not acknowledge that there is an electrical problem...gets testy with me*
Bret Anderson sez: "Was this car jump started a lot?" It appears that the PO tried to jump the car and SWITCHED THE POLARITY!!!! thereby f'ing up every actuator in the car and we're still assessing the damage.

Conclusion?! The PO is a FU#%ING moron!

Seriously...how the hell does somebody who has the balls to attempt to jumpstart a car MESS UP what cables go where?

Yes, yes...I know that I'm really at fault for not doing all of my homework on the car prior to purchasing. The CARFAX was clear, but (of course) I've found that the pass side front fender has a "DOT" on it..at least it's not a cheap OE...but still.

So I'm getting all sorts of fun stuff fixed on the car, ultimately spending more than the book value on it (since when did that ever matter?!). It will still have no paint and a nasty ding in the pass quarter panel, I guess that'll be the next $3000+ repair job.

At the end of the day, I think to myself, "hmm...that's 50% of my V8 e34 with a six speed, or a third of what I'd pay for a late model e38"...but then I realize that it's harder to sell the damn thing than it is to just keep it and run it into the ground (whenever that will be).

Until I get the bill....

LOWELL

[Patrick]

Sorry to hear it's been such a hassle. You should mail a copy of your post to the PO and let him know what's going on and you're expecting some accountability on his part.
I've read/heard of cases where the previous owner was sued in small claims court for misrepresentation of the condition of their vehicle. You could go that route based on how he advertised the car (excellent condition, runs great etc.), if someone was present when he answered your questions, or even maybe Bret Anderson's opinion.
Regardless, you have good reasons to be pissed.

[shogun]

Get the EML problem fixed first!
Other problems might also come from this. If the EML is on, the whole engine control goes to limp mode.
Go to a BMW repair shop with a DIS diagnosis and let them make a check.
Or if you have a PEAKE fault finder, that will help you too. Costs you around 160 $ and helps a lot.
www.bavauto.com has it (called bavauto, but actually from PEAKE) or directly from
http://www.peakeresearch.com

With detailed DIS info it is much easier to go to a better search for probs than fishing in the dark.

Try a reset to empty all rubish from the engine computers. Info is on my page (link below).

[Kalevera]

Shogun -

Well, the problem is that, according to Bret, the EML on this model (1990 535i) doesn't actually do anything (yes, it doesn't make much sense to me, either). He's convinced that some hard part is seriously destroyed in the trans, causing the no reverse problem. I guess the fluid was burnt and had enough bling in it to make a rapper jealous.

When I walked into his shop, they were swapping an 850CI V12 & 6 speed into a stunning E34 M5 that had previously been powered by a euro S38, so I'm tempted to believe the rumors that he knows what he's talking about

Also - I guess that, when he connected it computer up to his diagnostics, it simply wouldn't work. Hopefully, not a biproduct of the PO's jumping mishap, but who knows. Bret indicated that the only casualty of that battle (thusfar) were the actuators related to the central locking.

Frustrating, indeed.

Lowell

[Paul in NZ]

well lowell when it comes to second hand cars........All I ope is that it all works out relatively painlessly and thats the end of it......if all it took was a "reprogram" why didnt the PO do it....beleive only the receipts.......

[Kalevera]

We'll hope for the best, mate

[DueyT]

Lowell, what was Brett doing with the S38 that came out of the M5?

[Kalevera]

Dropped it into an M6

[wmann]

I have an issue w/ a 1995 540i that is simillar, The driver seat controls are reversed. The PO says that it happened before and the dealer reset the polarity. I have the receipt that shows that they did infact do it. Does any one here know whats involved in fixing it and if I can do it myself? The PO stated that it was due to a dead battery (jump start?). Bill Mann

[Bill R.]