F$@%ing Previous Owner (RANT)

[Kalevera]

Well, after seeing three mechanics (including the present), my car is now in the capable hands of Bret Anderson at KMS. Hopefully, after next week, and about $3000, it will be usable for another six months.

Everybody who knows me thinks I'm CRAZY, my mom now makes jokes about my car to her friends and they think I'm an idiot.

After buying this car (as a project) and rebuilding the suspension, I was unable to resolve the no reverse and EML issues on my own. Given what the PO told me about these issues, I was confident that I could solve them, especially since he had "two ASE certified mechanics" look at it, and I had the company of my Bentley's and access to BIMMER.INFO. Well, as I'm slowly learning, *NEVER TRUST THE PO....EVER*.

Case(S) in point:

Symptom: No reverse
PO sez: "the transmision lost its programing so it will have to be taken to a BMW dealer where its a pretty simple task of reprogramming the computer that controles that opperation"
Mechanic #1 (local gas station tire guy) sez: "You need a new transmission. Usually when the reverse goes out, that's an indication that the pump is going bad"
Mechanic #2 (local euro/import specialist with too many hondas to work on) sez: "We checked the selector linkage and it was fine. You need a new transmission"
Bret Anderson sez: "The F clutch is destroyed, hard parts are broken...Time for a ZF reman"

Conclusion?! The PO is a lying scumbag POS

Sweet irony: I vowed that I'd never throw money at a ZF slushbox. Well, it will take 3+ weeks to have someone else do a conversion, now I'm STUCK somewhere where I don't have the tools to do it myself, AND I *have* to have the car working by next week. Oh well, at least it's a ZF reman.


Symptom: Weird electrical issues; EML light always on; Central Locking doesn't work, although I can hear the relay clicking - locks can't be manually actuated.
PO sez: *does not acknowledge that there is an electrical problem...gets testy with me*
Bret Anderson sez: "Was this car jump started a lot?" It appears that the PO tried to jump the car and SWITCHED THE POLARITY!!!! thereby f'ing up every actuator in the car and we're still assessing the damage.

Conclusion?! The PO is a FU#%ING moron!

Seriously...how the hell does somebody who has the balls to attempt to jumpstart a car MESS UP what cables go where?

Yes, yes...I know that I'm really at fault for not doing all of my homework on the car prior to purchasing. The CARFAX was clear, but (of course) I've found that the pass side front fender has a "DOT" on it..at least it's not a cheap OE...but still.

So I'm getting all sorts of fun stuff fixed on the car, ultimately spending more than the book value on it (since when did that ever matter?!). It will still have no paint and a nasty ding in the pass quarter panel, I guess that'll be the next $3000+ repair job.

At the end of the day, I think to myself, "hmm...that's 50% of my V8 e34 with a six speed, or a third of what I'd pay for a late model e38"...but then I realize that it's harder to sell the damn thing than it is to just keep it and run it into the ground (whenever that will be).

Until I get the bill....

LOWELL