*~*~*~*~*~July Joke Thread~*~*~*~*~*

[Blitzkrieg Bob]

The Journey of a Man
When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.


When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.


In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotiona l. Everything was an em ergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.


When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find girl with some real ambition.



When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.













I am older and wiser now, and am looking for a girl with big ****.

[ryan roopnarine]

the old joke...

British soldier going thru basic training, when it comes time to issue him a rifle there are no rifles left. So the supply sarge gives the recruit a broom stick, and tells him to hold it up to his shoulder and yell BANG BANG. So brave young recruit goes to get his issue bayonet and again they are out, so the supply sarge ties a small wooden rod to the recruit's broom stick. He tells the recruit to push the broom stick forward, and yell STICK, STICK.

So young British lad goes to war and is facing an enemy charge for the first time. He holds his broom stick up and shouts BANG. An enemy soldier falls. The lad is impressed so he yells BANG again and another enemy drops. So the lad is shouting BANG BANG just as loud and as fast as he can, until he sees an enemy soldier headed right for him. The lad aims straight at the enemy and yells BANG BANG BANG. The enemy soldier keeps on coming and is within feet of the lad. So the lad takes his broom stick and ties on the small wooden rod and starts yelling STICK STICK STICK.

The enemy soldier keeps coming non-stop, knocks the lad over, and walks across his chest saying, TANK TANK TANK....

[whiskychaser]

Young lad comes home from school pleased with himself:
Son: Hey dad! I got a part in the school play!!! I get to be a man who has been married for 25 years!!!
Dad: Never mind son. You might get a speaking part next time