OT: are they--honest to god--putting exhaust ports on the fenders of new cars now?

[ryan roopnarine]

i drove by a buick dealer today, and lo and behold, one of the "showcase cars" (new cars facing the street) was some manner of buick. the only problem with this scenario was that i saw three plastic exhaust portholes on both sides of the fender on this particular vehicle. i didn't believe what i saw, so i took a second pass from a different direction. yep....new (or 07 model) buick with the new technology "speed holes". i mean, it's one thing to put the holes on a RWD car, or a car that could conceivably have the exhaust dumping through the fender. the buick in question, however, was fwd (as they all are, i guess). i saw a flipping lincoln town car last night, in the parking lot of burger king (r) with 6, SIX! portholes divided among both fenders. i was going to stop and tell the owner about the problem, but i decided against it, as i hate the damn things.

[Macv]

yes?

[winfred]

they have those little stick on plastic warts on about every other car around here, must be the new thing

[LunatiC]

Pics! I want to see how ridiculous these "speed holes" are.

Reminds me of the time Homer Simpson wanted to buy a car and the mafia wanted to off him.

* grabs a pick-axe and hammers holes in his hood and fenders *

By the way, the Holden Commodore (this model and previous ones) had "speed holes" as well, first on the SS and now across the entire range. Ironically, Holden is also owned by GM.

[winfred]

these are the warts i speak of http://search.ebay.com/search/search...les&category0=

Pics! I want to see how ridiculous these "speed holes" are.

Reminds me of the time Homer Simpson wanted to buy a car and the mafia wanted to off him.

* grabs a pick-axe and hammers holes in his hood and fenders *

By the way, the Holden Commodore (this model and previous ones) had "speed holes" as well, first on the SS and now across the entire range. Ironically, Holden is also owned by GM.

[brodee]

They are a Buick trademark and have NEVER been exhaust ports from the factory. They first showed up on the '49 Buick and the GM marketing machine is bringing them back.

Here's a little background about where they came from.
"According to legend, the portholes were the invention of ace stylist Ned Nickles who reportedly had round holes cut in the hood of his car. The holes were finished with chrome-plated surrounds. Inside the holes were lights whose wiring was linked to the distributor, the lights pulsating along with the motor's revving, mimicking flames emitted from the exhaust stacks or a race car or airplane. Buick managers thought the portholes looked nifty, but on production cars the ports were not actual holes (the centers were simply black paint) and there was no fake exhaust flaming."

[Ross]

ventiports they were referred to as I recall.
Poor Buick, once a proud brand.

[ryan roopnarine]

oh wow, they were vestigual from the factory. i did not know that.....
what i'm trying to say, without being too (cough), is that if you don't live in an "urban" area, you don't see every 80s buick skylark and 95 century with these little things stuck onto them these days. like i said, i saw a lincoln town car with these little gits stuck onto it. whether or not buick likes it, the hip-hop volk have co-opted their little stick on accessories, and it will be interesting to see if they make it past this year's model line. i'm surprised that more people don't see these things in public, and I'm not talking about the GN's subtle body colored ones. i'm talking about buffoons in cobalts sticking three per side onto their cars.

[infurno]

You mean this?




I noticed them too, but i don't think its so bad. Adds a bit of flare to a pretty boring looking car.

[Macv]

Buicks are boring cars though.