OT dealing with bullies

[632 Regal]

background:

Sal is 10 years old and in 4th grade.
he has ITP a blood disorder (low platelets) where he can bleed to death, hit his head and have a stroke etc.
he has severe nosebleeds in school witnessed by said bullies.
he has been hospitalized 3 times in the past couple months for this problem.

His princpal has labeled Sal as a trouble maker.
threatened to kick him out of school for writing on bathroom walls and other behavior issues.
me and the principal are NOT good friends.
Sal also got in trouble for spraying cologne on the school bus (a lot if I know my son) and almost was suspended by the bus driver.

a few weeks ago someone pushed him off the bus and he fell but did not hit his head. kid started kicking him until Sal ran to his mothers house. Mother went to bullies house and no problems since. No bus driver report on bully.

Yesterday 2 black brothers ganged up on him in the bus and started hitting him in the head with some hard rubber object. They are both bigger than Sal and in 5th and 6th grade. Sal pushed the thing away a few times and then the kid swung very hard and cracked him in the cheek. They then asked if it hurt... Sal just sat there and said "no"... nice

Principal is of no help and bus driver did not report it even though she saw what was going on. Sal can't fight back for 2 reasons: he will be expelled and 2 if he dont drop the bullie on the first shot he could get seriously hurt or killed.

what to do? Mother wants to go to bullies house, I told her to explain Sals medical issue and then say that now that they officially know, if it happens again that she will call the cops, file a complaint for assault & battery with the intent to murder. I would personally visit bullies parent but am afraid of getting angry and losing my cool...and doing something that I will regret.

what would you do?

[Blitzkrieg Bob]

a kid pulled a knife on one of my boys.

School called the cops.

School suspended the boy. boy shows up at the school bus stop next day

We had to follow up from all ends, we had a conferences with the VP = warm fuzzy do nothing.

Contacted the boy's mom and met her at a neutral place (restaurant) to discuss and settle the issue.

We had to also follow up with the police on the report and if they would be referring it to the prosecutor or not.

In the end the boy changed schools, since my son was on the football team and the whole event turned that boy into a target by the football team and the parents.

I’d let the school know about Sal’s situation in writing via registered return receipt and CC. the board of Ed.

Try to get the parents of the other boys to meet either at school or other neutral place with you.

[stargazer_61]

...Mother wants to go to bullies house, I told her to explain Sals medical issue and then say that now that they officially know, if it happens again that she will call the cops, file a complaint for assault & battery with the intent to murder. I would personally visit bullies parent but am afraid of getting angry and losing my cool...and doing something that I will regret.

what would you do?

Jeff,

This is a reasonable approach to the issue with the bullies, and shows your son that talking can work better than fighting, especially with his low platelet condition. Calm and cool will definitely work better than anger, so let her go and do her thing.

As for the bus driver and the school principal, you may have to go higher up to the superintendent to get some action, as it seems that Sal is being singled out. Do this personally if you can, both you and his mother, putting on a united front. Talk and form a strategy and contingency before you go. You may have to threaten the school district with a liability lawsuit, but hopefully it won't come to that, as it will only make matters worse for Sal. Inform them that the bus driver is being negligent in his/her duty to maintain order on that bus and if they cannot do their job then he/she needs to be replaced.

Good luck and I hope it works out well for your son's benefit.

John

[Ross]

An attorney ought to be able to put the fear of God into the principal for not seeing to the safety of his pupils, he will also advise you about what issues the police may or may not persue.
I'm happy not to have children that have to deal with this ****ed up world.
I hope it works out well for Sal.

[Macv]

I'm under 18, give me the pricks address....

****ed up world

No kidding. If Sal were my brother, I'd tackle the little **** and take my year in juvy.

[Blitzkrieg Bob]

14, 12 & 5 ( my very own wrecking crew)

We can use my 5 year old as bait (he swears like an old sailor and is used to standing up to older kids) and when they go after him, the 12 & 14 yearolds will jump in to pummle the little booger eaters.

[Macv]

We can use my 5 year old as bait (he swears like an old sailor and is used to standing up to older kids) and when they go after him, the 12 & 14 yearolds will jump in to pummle the little booger eaters.

The planning is what will send you to jail sadly.....

[markus]

if it were my kid id make sure to tell the cops and let the other parents and principal known you have filed a report. if the **** keeps up then talk to a lawyer.

also id be weary if the kids are trouble makers, then their parents probly arent much better.

[The Bigfella]

I'd sure as hell be reminding the school and the bus company about their duty of care obligations.

I'd also be having a chat or two to Sal about the consequences of his actions. What he did got the principal and bus driver offside in the first place - which doesn't excuse subsequent behaviour - but that's the way the world works.

People who piss others off all the time don't end up winning in life

[632 Regal]

Sals bad behavior exsists from a subconsious lashing out from his mothers selfish actions again, the kid will be moving to another home and school next season. This is 6 moves since she took him out of my home (fall 1998). Sal is very worried about a new school and all this bully crap and his fears are well founded. I have done all I can to have him stay here but that BPD of his mothers gets in the way, she lives for the child support and will not walk away from it. If you understood the BPD issue than you would know what I am talking about. I have fought this several times with 4 attornies and spent a lot of money but the courts will allow an unstable mother with mental disorders to do what she wants, drug the kid on ritalin, move as often as she wants, hit, beat and abuse people in the sight of my son, put the kid in a closet and call it a room etc etc... He is a good kid that is really trying to have his mother love him but she doesn't and that really bothers him, he does not have the capability yet to realize that he is just a pawn for money and nothing more in her eyes.

I'd sure as hell be reminding the school and the bus company about their duty of care obligations.

I'd also be having a chat or two to Sal about the consequences of his actions. What he did got the principal and bus driver offside in the first place - which doesn't excuse subsequent behaviour - but that's the way the world works.

People who piss others off all the time don't end up winning in life