**********October Joke Thread**********

[califblue]

Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was
constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world.
Finally,
Anna said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone.

Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom I have someone for you
to meet."
Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and
after dating

for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in Vermont.

Their first night there, she undressed as he did. There she stood
nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties; he was in his birthday
suit.
Looking her over, he asked, "Why the black panties?"
She replied:
"My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down
there I am still mourning."
He knew he was not getting lucky that night.

The following night was the same--she stood there wearing the
black panties, and he was in his Birthday suit--
but now he was wearing a black condom.

She looked at him and asked: "What's with the black condom?"

He replied, "I want to offer my deepest condolences"

[winfred]

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"
Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven."
Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart."

Little Davie waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!"
The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds.
Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Davie how he knew this.
Little Davie said, "Well... every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, "Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!"

[winfred]

Little Davie watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
"Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked.
"To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter?" asked Little Davie. "Giving up?"