Ot

[GJPinAU]

Dictionary *For Womens' Personal Ads *
40-ish.............................49
Adventurous ........... Slept *with everyone
Athletic...............................No*boobs
Average *looking...................Ugly
Beautiful.......................... Pathological*liar
Contagious Smile.................Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure..............On medication
Feminist.............................Fat
Free *spirit...........................Junkie
Fun.......................Annoying
New-Age....................Body *hair in the wrong *places
Old-fashioned....................No BJs
Open-minded......................Desperate
Outgoing.... ....................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate.......................Sloppy drunk
Voluptuous.......................Very Fat
Large frame......................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate..................Stalker


WOMEN'S *ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes**
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want.
5. I am *sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in *trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do *what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not *upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're *certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think *about?

MEN'S *ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am *hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired *= I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I *love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want *to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have *sex with you!
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to *have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd *like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to *dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. I don't think *those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

[Yiorgos]

At his meeting with Queen Elizabeth recently, the Aussie Prime Minister, John Howard, ardent royalist and general ass kisser, turned to the Queen and said, "As I'm the Prime Minister, I'm thinking of changing how my great country is referred to, and I'm thinking that it should be a Kingdom." The Queen replied, "I'm sorry Mr. Howard, but to be a Kingdom, you have to have a King in charge - and you're not a King."

John Howard thought a while and then said, "How about a Principality then?" To which the Queen replied, "Again, to be a Principality you have to be a Prince--and you're not a Prince, Mr. Howard."

Howard thought long and hard and came up with, "How about an Empire then?" The Queen, getting a little annoyed by now, replied, "Sorry again, Mr. Howard, but to be an Empire you must have an Emperor in charge and you are not an Emperor."

Before Howard could utter another word, The Queen said, "I think you're doing quite nicely as a Country."

[SharkmanBMW]

http://www.joeyinteractive.com/blog/?p=239