I'm so pizzed at my son

[jplacson]

If you plan to give your kids cars like that without proper training... I sure hope you include a loaded gun in the glove box to complete the package! That's just irresponisible of the parents. Most capable adults can't handle that much car!

I'm not saying to give your kids the crappiest thing you can buy... hell, when I have a kid and I have the money... I'd gladly give him/her an M3... AFTER he/she takes SERIOUS driving classes... and I'm not talking about a 1-day crash (pun intended) course. Who knows... they might grow up to be BMW race car drivers!

[Sardaukar]

I'm 17 and last April I picked up my first (and only) car, a 1994 BMW 530i (manual) for $4700 with 143k miles on the clock and nikasil block replaced/engine rebuild around 100k or so. I did pay for the car myself, I borrowed a grand from my dad but paid him back in 2 months (40 hour weeks at wendy's =( ) .

I honestly think that if you let your child work for something, they will respect it much more. All service, insurance, expenses period is paid for by me on my car and I treat it well. I have never been pulled over and consider myself a safe, if sometimes a bit quick, driver.

Before I could really take the car out, my dad made sure I was comfortable driving a manual tranny car that was also RWD. So whether it seems like it or not, make your child work for it and they will be very thankful in the end =)

[Phil M]

Im 17 as well and I cant agree more. I worked my balls off in school for my 94 540iA. $8500 (orig asking for $11000) with 118k (78k on block), Schwarz II on onyx black leather and also made sure of the ASC option because I was a bit uncomfortable knowing of driving a RWD in the upcoming winter. Anyway, my dad gave me a set amt of money to spend on a car and it was my choice on what car I wanted. No way in hell I was gonna get a stereotypical SUV (but I did look at a few Range Rovers) or some 'weak-statement' Honda or Toyota.

No way in hell I would do anything to abuse or disrespect my car. Hell I even talk to her almost every morning! But I do admit to driving a bit over the limit, but hey.. who doesnt do that in our cars? I love my car and take as much care of her as possible.

I admit that I will probably never be able to own anything other than a BMW or Mercedes.. at least nothing domestic. First impressions are somethin else..

[James]

My first car Was an e21 320i, this was 3 years ago, I abused her prettty good, she was a tough old goat though, The abuse subsided when my mom made me pay for my Insurance, and repairs.

[Mr. BILL]

Rory,

Thanks for the thoughtful words. I agree completely.

[Mr. BILL]

Wise words from a young man.

I had made him wait six months before I let him drive on his own. I considered him a good driver and I think he is. What I didn't expect was, his falling victim to peer pressure ala showing off or letting someone else drive. And although I provided him with a car, he's responsible for the care and maintainance.

I figured a 525iA was a good choice because it's safe and fairly slow off the line at least.

[Mr. BILL]

Thanks

[TheGeak]

My first BMW was the first car i purchased with my OWN money. Well, technically it was the 2nd, the first was an '85 Toyota Tercel that was STOLEN! (only paid $200 for it, so i didn't really care) So the bimmer was my first REAL investment. I was 19 at the time and had my dad co-sign a $11k loan so i could pick up my Sterlingsilber on Black M5.

And yes, i romp on the car. Its something people do. YES it was very irresponsible for him to let people drive his car in an abusive manner. And yes, he definately deserves to be punished. But remember, he IS only a kid, and kids make mistakes. The important thing is that they LEARN from their mistakes so they don't repeat them.

Cheers,
Jason

[George M]

kinda with the Geak on this one...he is only a kid. A few Dad's out there that have lost a son would love to be in your shoes....and its only an f-ing car even if it is an old BMW. I used to reiff on my Dad's cars...what a lot of kids do....and he was very forgiving about it. Personally I would cut your son a break, give him a hug and figure out how to pay for it...maybe pull the trans out with your son and share some time together.
He probably won't do it again,
George

[TimGinCentralNJ]

...I can't only image how mad I'd be in your shoes. I also hope you don't mind my saying that it's refreshing to hear that there are still parents out there who discipline their kids. I'm 35, but I swear I was 17 only a moment ago...honest! While my folks were great providers, they taught us the value of a dollar, and what the difference between a "right" and an "earned priviledge" was. We've all screwed up and done dumb things like take our mom's blazer field stomping, (only to get it stuck) but we learned our lesson because someone cared enough to teach us one one, rather than turning a blind eye and dismissing it as "kids will be kids", which seems to be the norm now. Even my fiancee's 18 year old brother exemplifies "Generation Y"...total punk, disrespectful to his parents, of his car, and anyone who doesn't let him do what he wants. Hell, I don't even know how many times he's wrecked his folks' Acura when he's borrowed it...they just keep payin' for the damage, and lettin' him use it whenever he wants. No lesson learned. Besides, he's even got his own car he could be wrecking instead.

So, anyway...it's been my personal growth experience that kids come into that realism of "responsibility" at different times. Without them screwing up here and there, you'd have no way of knowing when they're not quite ready for some of life's luxuries (like a BMW) which you've bestowed upon them. Stick to your guns...let your son cool-off for a few months and see what happens when your trust is broken. Your son will turn out a better as a result. And damn, you're a cool dad providing a bimmer as a first car...are you adopting?

Thanks for the bandwidth,
Tim G.

I got a call from my youngest son two Saturdays ago saying there was "something wrong with the transmission" on my '90 525iA. The tranny was/is slipping. I hoped he was responsible enough to not have abused the car as he's always been respectful of things in the past. The car had sat for several months, so I thought maybe some crud had gotten sucked into the filter. I changed the fluid/filter and no improvement

This past Saturday, my wife let him drive her PT Cruiser as I refused to let him drive my E39 528. He came home and said he had had a flat tire. I went out and looked at it and the sidewall was blown out. That can only mean one thing. So I asked him, "how fast were you going when you hit the curb"? He was stunned that I could figure out what happened. He had my wife fooled.

I found out today, he let a friend take the 525 for a spin on the night the tranny went out. The kid apparently either did the old "neutral slam" or brake torqued it in a attempt to burn a little rubber.

I thought my son was responsible enough to treat a car properly and take care of it. I thought wrong. I never had this problem with my older son. He realized he was pretty lucky to have a BMW as his first car albeit an old E12. Then, I traded him up to the 525 in question and now he's driving a red 525iM.

I'm so disappointed in my younger son. Obviously, he's not mature/responsible enough to enjoy the privledge of driving. So, I've decided to take away the keys for at least six months, maybe a year and make him pay for the tranny repair. I can't help thinking I'm lucky only two cars were damaged. He needs more time to grow up

What honks me off, is how many kids get a BMW as their first car?