Bailey.
The reverse issue could merit a valve body rebuild (plastic check balls....argh) or indicate that it's low on fluid. The ones that I've seen with low fluid usually take a second to engage in drive as well as reverse. And then there's the trans program error, usually intertwined with it all. So my thinking is that the delayed reverse is an indication of a valve body rebuild in the car's immediate future.
On the fluid. I'm the kind of person who'd flush it and be done with it. However....These things are fickle on the fluid level -- so you might want to just catch the old stuff and refill it (tricky to get on the mark if it's been leaking) or replace with new fluid.
There are tons of other things to say....but I have this feeling that you already know them, given that you've read all of the threads.
Good luck!
best, whit