I don't have all the answers but maybe part of the answer.
One key part will be to use the correct "cross cable" for the seats. There is a cable that connects the drivers seat to the passenger seat - this cable is not the same depending on the seat type. If I recall, the stock seats, sports seats and memory seats all use a different cross cable. Look this up in ETK.
You're next question will be - (how) can I make my current able work? A) I don't know and B) I wouldn't recommend trying.
I think you're best best is to plan to pull and swap this cable when you remove/install the seats. It runs under the carpet and under the console so you'll need to get under that stuff.
This should solve the harness connection problems and get you well on your way. Not sure if there are other parts associated with the memory or not - you might want to carefully study the schematics in the ETM CD.
Jeff - done a little seat swapping
Bellevue WA
90 535iM - not much stock remains. 3.7 liters, ported head, cammed, 3.73 diffy, M5 brakes, MAFed, yadda yadda yadda
86 Porsche 951 - Track Toy