Cruise & r.wiper NFG, and my steering wheel is stuck. Any assist?

My cruise control is completely dead, and the stalk seems to have no control over the rear wiper and the rear washer. The signals, front wipers, and computer control all work fine. All the fuses are fine. I was thinking that some of the rear relays may be shot - but wanted to check here for advice first.

Also - the damn steering wheel won't telescope an iota. I've undone the lock under the column and pulled until I gave myself a hernia. It won't budge. Is there another way to unlock it? (It's not a power-telescope either....)

The car is a '93 525iT.

Thanks in advance