Emperor's New Clothes (Long, angry rant)

[prosenfe]

I'll just throw this out there, and everyone can flame me as they find time. I own a 1995 BMW 540i A/T. It's my first BMW. It had 130,000 miles two years ago when I bought it, and now it has 150,000. In that time, the car has been nothing but obscenely expensive and completely unreliable. It now sits in my driveway with a puddle of trans oil underneath it. The $25/qt. "lifetime" variety. That makes fully four times it has randomly disgorged it's trans oil on the driveway. Each time it finds a new seal to break. This time, it's thrown down a puddle of coolant for good measure.
I'll admit that it was not properly cared for prior to my buying it. Yet, I've driven _a lot_ of beaters in my life, and none of them have been so decidedly unreliable. None has randomly broken down, requiring a limp to the shop and a $300 infusion even one time, much less four. And this car is no beater. I had a local shop check it out prior to buying and they assured me it was good. Nevertheless, I spent $3,000 on it the first year...and it's still broken down.
I wouldn't mind all the trouble if the car was a joy to drive. But it isn't. It's enormously powerful, quiet and beautiful, but after that it's pretty much a big disappointment.
The much-touted handling feels heavy, ponderous and vague to me. The controls are fiddly and confusing. Go to cancel the cruise, and you're likely to turn on the windshield wipers because the stalks are the same shape & size and only inches apart. The A/C controls are completely bewildering.
The seats are uncomfortable, especially on long drives.
The headliner rattles.
The brakes are awful. I've never seen brakes entirely without modulation of any kind, until this car. You are either stopping with denture-popping ferocity, or not stopping at all. There is no middle ground. Once they do grab, getting them to let go requires a pry bar and a lead pipe. I'm not sure how you engineer brakes like that, but it can't be easy. Even worse, they are so sloppy that coming to a stop is always a herky-jerky affair. No poise or finesse at all. Just a lumpen mass of expensive parts careening to a halt.
The 5HP30 transmission, of course, is absolute garbage and any search of this site will bear that out. "Lifetime" fluid seems to mean a transmission guaranteed to fail at 100k miles. Incidentally, the trans costs $5,000 from BMW. The car is presently worth $4,000.
Add to all this confusion the dealer attitude, the reluctance of BMW to release any kind of repair info on the cars (like a reasonable substitute for "lifetime" oil), the sinking sensation in my wallet every time I drive it, the perception by decent, hard-working folk that BMW drivers are jerks and the BMW just isn't a very compelling car.
I've been reduced to an '89 Honda by this masterpiece of German engineering and I thank God for it every night. The Honda is nearly 20 years old, with 180k miles. When I found it, it was abandoned for dead in my brother-in-law's shed. The clearcoat is gone. Compression is low in one cylinder and it smokes. It is a beater in every sense of the word. But, it still gets 27-31 mpg. It still drives without complaint. It starts immediately, every single time I turn the key. What's more, ugly and broken, it's still 10x more fun than the BMW is at its best. It is more lively, more precise, more responsive and I can cut off BMWs with gleeful abandon. Not surprisingly then, there is a new Honda engine in my driveway, right next to the puddle of BMW trans fluid. A paint job will be following. The Honda is worth repairing. The BMW? Not so sure. The Honda is worth painting and I will. The BMW might be worth pushing into a field and lighting on fire. It would be more fun that way.
In short, the Honda is like a loyal dog. The BMW is like a bad girlfriend. Or a herion habit.
Is there a reason people buy these, or is this another case of the emperor's new clothes?
Thanks for letting me rant. You may flame at will.

Paul

[spyrot1]

Don't hold back, tell us what you really think...:p

[spyrot1]

Hmmm... German cars with over 150k miles might have issues, especially if the PO abused the car.

Sounds about right... welcome to BMW ownership!

No pain, no gain!

[pundit]

".. I'll admit that it was not properly cared for prior to my buying it."
BINGO!!... That's one critical point!
If fact it sounds like it's really been let go.
The brakes etc.

The second is that unless you either have the skills to carry out much of the work yourself or have plenty of cash that you don't mind spending, then any semi-exotic vehicle, let alone one that hasn't been well maintained, is not a good choice. I have a 535i which is very reliable (with preventative maintenance) however a 540 will always require more maintenance.

As for the controls there's nothing wrong with the layout.
I suggest the operator needs to read the owners manual. ;)

A recent poster was contemplating the purchase of an Alpina E34 Bi-Turbo but also stated he was financially strapped would have to take out a loan to buy it and would be bankrupted by any major problem that occurred.

So should he buy it or not?
I'll leave you to answer that.

Incidentally, an E34 540 here in Australia was around $120,000.00 new ($110,000.00 USD).
I assume in the US they were around $60,000.00 USD new. Work out that the car has now depreciated some 90%.

So if you like the idea of getting a car that once sold for $60,000 for less than $6,000 then you need to take repair and maintenance costs into account.
If you don't then buy a Honda! ;)

[Dave M]

I had a local shop check it out prior to buying and they assured me it was good. Nevertheless, I spent $3,000 on it the first year...and it's still broken down.

Provided the ranting, unfortunately, you found a bad shop.


Go to cancel the cruise, and you're likely to turn on the windshield wipers because the stalks are the same shape & size and only inches apart. The A/C controls are completely bewildering.
The seats are uncomfortable, especially on long drives.
The headliner rattles.

Wow, I guess theres a first time for everything. I remember ONE person complaining about the seats and that was a while ago. Everyones posterior is different, too bad it doesn't fit.


I've never seen brakes entirely without modulation of any kind, until this car. You are either stopping with denture-popping ferocity, or not stopping at all.

You have brake problems, no doubt about it. I've never driven a better stopping machine.

It (the honda) is a beater in every sense of the word. But, it still gets 27-31 mpg. It still drives without complaint. It starts immediately, every single time I turn the key. What's more, ugly and broken, it's still 10x more fun than the BMW is at its best.

Have you driven a Ford lately??


Sorry you had a bad experience. I invite you to drive my lowly 525im any day of the week, if it might change you mind ;)

Dave M

[Paul in NZ]

what do you expect us to say?BMW s are fine cars.
They arent the cheapest,they arent the most reliable.
I have not had that many cars in my life but the BMW has the best combinaton of power,handling,comfort,quietness,ergonomics,ride,i nvolvement,(i have a manual) and features(for a car that nearly 20 years old!).I cant help but grin sometimes when i drive it.I belong to the car club.I suggest you sell your BMW and keep your Honda.

[infurno]

The controls are fiddly and confusing. Go to cancel the cruise, and you're likely to turn on the windshield wipers because the stalks are the same shape & size and only inches apart. The A/C controls are completely bewildering.

To each his own.

Nobody buys a bmw for fuel economy, or to save money. Just the wrong car for you.

After owning 3 Hondas I can say they ok new, but give it a few months and all the plastic stuff starts squeaking and rattling. I have never been in a used honda that let you drive with the stero off without losing your mind. (not saying they are all like that. just my experience)

My e34 has 270k miles, and solid as a rock both inside and out. I just got hit by a big chevy truck, and only got a scratch that nobody can find. Unbelievable.

[BigKriss]

i've got nothing to add besides what the other gentlmen have said. lifetime fluid still has to be chaged though. I don't experience any problems you do though,

[DaveVoorhis]

Congratulations: You've discovered BMW isn't for you -- especially not one with relatively high mileage, poor maintenance, and something seriously wrong with the brakes. Sell it and move on.

And there's no such thing as a good automatic transmission. They're all crap. By design, every one emerges from the factory as an inevitable catastrophic failure waiting for nothing more than the worst opportunity to happen. Attempts to repair automatic transmissions are fruitless exercises in sorrow; nowt but pointless, expensive and depressing. There's a reason God gave you two arms and two legs -- it's to reserve one of each for clutch and gearshift.

[Barney Paull-Edwards]

If you find a BMW thats been looked after, it will last forever, otherwise throw it on the heap, simple really. Mine has done 280k and still does a thousand miles a day if I want it to,and is fixable,could afford a new car but nothing does the job as well as an E34, and has bumpers! Sorry you bought a dog but dont blame the car, blame the owners.

[Tiger]

You should have joined us when you bought the car... tons of info here. Your mechanic is a bad one.

[leicesterboy15]

I can't agree more with what people have said. Theres no such thing as a cheap BMW. If your honda can smoke your 540i then you must only be running on 4 out of 8 or your Honda has been NOS'd!

All the cars I have ever owned have been incredibly reliable (Fords, Vauxhalls, Nissans, Hondas, Mercs and BMWs) - thats because I pick the right one in the first place or I have incredibly good luck (shame it doesn't extend to other things). The 540i has been the least reliable but it has been the most rewarding, I love my drive to work - and it regularly scares the **** out me and wipes the smile off other drivers faces! It has the same mileage as yours and this is when things go wrong in any car (100 - 140k) but I am trying to maintain a £45k car on a shoestring. It may only cost £2500 to buy but the maintenance is still the same as a £45k car (well nearly), my wifes CLK 2.0 is much cheaper to run but its soo boring to drive. A car doesn't get to 150k without having most major serviceable parts replaced. Under this mileage and you can get away with it, over this mileage and someone else would have done the work before you bought it.

Maybe you should found this site earlier in your ownership - you could have saved a fortune. A mechanic told me my engine was shot and it was 4k for a new one but a quick post on this site and the problem was diagnosed to a £100 part which I fitted myself.

I regularly drive much newer cars with lower mileage and am surprised by their lack of charisma, ride quality and the creaks and rattles you get in them. I have a couple of creaks now and then that annoy me and make me think bad things but then I drive a newer car with lower miles and realise that my car is actually much better.

I think you need to try another. Oh and if you're after an impartial view you probably came to the wrong place :)

Another thing - if you are going to have the gearbox open to replace a seal, why not replace them all while you are in there? Might save this hassle in future.

[philbyil]

Sorry,

IMHO - It appears you didn't do enough homework!!!




I'll just throw this out there, and everyone can flame me as they find time. I own a 1995 BMW 540i A/T. It's my first BMW. It had 130,000 miles two years ago when I bought it, and now it has 150,000. In that time, the car has been nothing but obscenely expensive and completely unreliable. It now sits in my driveway with a puddle of trans oil underneath it. The $25/qt. "lifetime" variety. That makes fully four times it has randomly disgorged it's trans oil on the driveway. Each time it finds a new seal to break. This time, it's thrown down a puddle of coolant for good measure.
I'll admit that it was not properly cared for prior to my buying it. Yet, I've driven _a lot_ of beaters in my life, and none of them have been so decidedly unreliable. None has randomly broken down, requiring a limp to the shop and a $300 infusion even one time, much less four. And this car is no beater. I had a local shop check it out prior to buying and they assured me it was good. Nevertheless, I spent $3,000 on it the first year...and it's still broken down.
I wouldn't mind all the trouble if the car was a joy to drive. But it isn't. It's enormously powerful, quiet and beautiful, but after that it's pretty much a big disappointment.
The much-touted handling feels heavy, ponderous and vague to me. The controls are fiddly and confusing. Go to cancel the cruise, and you're likely to turn on the windshield wipers because the stalks are the same shape & size and only inches apart. The A/C controls are completely bewildering.
The seats are uncomfortable, especially on long drives.
The headliner rattles.
The brakes are awful. I've never seen brakes entirely without modulation of any kind, until this car. You are either stopping with denture-popping ferocity, or not stopping at all. There is no middle ground. Once they do grab, getting them to let go requires a pry bar and a lead pipe. I'm not sure how you engineer brakes like that, but it can't be easy. Even worse, they are so sloppy that coming to a stop is always a herky-jerky affair. No poise or finesse at all. Just a lumpen mass of expensive parts careening to a halt.
The 5HP30 transmission, of course, is absolute garbage and any search of this site will bear that out. "Lifetime" fluid seems to mean a transmission guaranteed to fail at 100k miles. Incidentally, the trans costs $5,000 from BMW. The car is presently worth $4,000.
Add to all this confusion the dealer attitude, the reluctance of BMW to release any kind of repair info on the cars (like a reasonable substitute for "lifetime" oil), the sinking sensation in my wallet every time I drive it, the perception by decent, hard-working folk that BMW drivers are jerks and the BMW just isn't a very compelling car.
I've been reduced to an '89 Honda by this masterpiece of German engineering and I thank God for it every night. The Honda is nearly 20 years old, with 180k miles. When I found it, it was abandoned for dead in my brother-in-law's shed. The clearcoat is gone. Compression is low in one cylinder and it smokes. It is a beater in every sense of the word. But, it still gets 27-31 mpg. It still drives without complaint. It starts immediately, every single time I turn the key. What's more, ugly and broken, it's still 10x more fun than the BMW is at its best. It is more lively, more precise, more responsive and I can cut off BMWs with gleeful abandon. Not surprisingly then, there is a new Honda engine in my driveway, right next to the puddle of BMW trans fluid. A paint job will be following. The Honda is worth repairing. The BMW? Not so sure. The Honda is worth painting and I will. The BMW might be worth pushing into a field and lighting on fire. It would be more fun that way.
In short, the Honda is like a loyal dog. The BMW is like a bad girlfriend. Or a herion habit.
Is there a reason people buy these, or is this another case of the emperor's new clothes?
Thanks for letting me rant. You may flame at will.

Paul

[Russell]

I looked for 1.5 years before I found a one owner low mileage (72,000 miles 4 years ago) car with records. Even so, I have spent a lot of time (much work done myself) and money trying to keep it as close to 100 percent as possible. I replaced a lot of interior and exterior trim items, spark plugs, valve cover gasket, pullies, tensioners, radiator, water pump, three transmission services, front struts and thrust arm bushings, sway bar links, brakes, rotors, door actuators, cd changer, tires and more. Not to mention normal lubrication changes.

Most people on this board reconize many of these items as normal maintenance items for e34s. These cars are not cheap to maintain.

You now have a choice. Bring it up to par with a good mechanic or sell it and get a low care Honda or Toyota. It seems apparent you have no real interest in DYI work which, imo, is essential to own these cars. Good luck.

[whiskychaser]

When I found it, it was abandoned for dead in my brother-in-law's shed. The clearcoat is gone. Compression is low in one cylinder and it smokes.
Paul
Yes I know this isnt a Honda forum but the bad compression and smoking on may just be caused cos it sat so long-the piston rings stick in the pistons. You could try new rings and a couple of runs with a honer. Worked for me:) Run different 1.6 16v Hondas since '92. The Honda is a town car and the E34 has the comfort and long legs. If you cant or dont want to work on the E34 yourself then its going to cost an arm and a leg. Unfortunately you seem to have been saddled with some pretty major issues early on:(

[nirvana19]

I've spent 1500 on my car in the last year, doing most of the work myself. And I have the slightly cheaper to maintain and slightly more reliable (and easier to work on) 535i. Of course most of the maintenance on my car has been done and the things I replaced were items like tires and the exhaust which will certainly last for a while. I love my car, its an autobox and has a few rattles and one or two strange sounds. The engine turned out to have been better maintained than I thought as after removing the valve cover a mechanic was shocked at the lack of wear for the mileage and general cleanliness of the engine (considering I have two loud fuel injectors and the engine generally sounds like its about to explode). I love the car, and yes it broke down on me for some as of yet still unexplained belt failure, but I love the car so its worth it. I also love to tinker, so when I get a break from cog sci and neuroscience I get to go play with some bitchy rusty bolts and have alone time with my 70s era designed M30 engine. Its fun. If you don't find this stuff fun, this isn't the car for you. I have a friend that wants to buy a 540i, and though he has plenty of money I'm warning him that if he won't do any work on the car himself hes going to be blowing thousands on the thing. Thats reality, these were amazingly engineered cars. I have the rare opportunity to drive exotics and new luxury cars that I can't afford fairly often, and though those are incredible cars, I never regret having to go back to my 19 year old bavarian.

I think the ergonomics of the car are excellent especially compared to my parents 2005 lexus and about to be delivered 08 mercedes, and as a driver I find the seats incredible comfortable, though I'll admit that the one time I was in the front passenger seat of my car I realized I just wasn't as comfortable for some reason. Even with the seat back I couldn't relax. As for the climate controls, I have no problems with them, though my A/C doesn't really work ;). I never accidentally hit the cruise control, and love the little electronic trinkets in the car except for the loud dong every time the temperature hits 38 degrees that makes me think my check control is going to flash some horrific trans program or coolant temperature or low oil pressure warning at me (only one of which has ever happened). I love the way my car handles and drives, and prefer it to the newer 330Ci I drove for a bit. If my car had a manual transmission and a few less rattles and weird sounds, it would be perfect.

And in my opinion, its a hell of a lot better than the camry I used to drive.
Sell your car to someone that will love it, and buy a newer accord, maybe one with a V6 and leather seats. Its not BMW but it doesn't sound like you want a BMW, it'll be more reliable and cheaper to maintain, and I think you'll be happy. Good luck

[dave b]

Sorry to hear that you're having a rough time with your car. My experience over 100k miles on my 525 has been the opposite. I've found the bmw much easier to work on than my wife's cougar, and the parts are cheaper (granted, I live 4 miles from BMA so that helps). For the jobs you can't do yourself, finding a great mechanic is the key, as it is with any car.

I give my 15 year old car a break as far as the rattles go. She also gets a break for a few minor electrical problems. As long as the car can start, go, and then stop, I'm good.


db

[mikell]

Paul -

As you see from the replies, there are a lot of BMW owners who have different experiences than yours with their BMW's. Most or all of the owners who post here are loyal enthusiasts who do a lot of their own maintenance.

One thing is certain, though - BMW's are like thoroughbred horses or gorgeous women - they give a lot of performance but require lots of attention. Like so many things, if you do the upkeep as you go, you avoid the big blow-ups. In your case, it sounds like you inherited the neglect of the previous owner, who deserves a good thrashing.

Now, to address some of your comments:



I wouldn't mind all the trouble if the car was a joy to drive. But it isn't. It's enormously powerful, quiet and beautiful, but after that it's pretty much a big disappointment.
....
The brakes are awful. I've never seen brakes entirely without modulation of any kind, until this car. You are either stopping with denture-popping ferocity, or not stopping at all. There is no middle ground. Once they do grab, getting them to let go requires a pry bar and a lead pipe. I'm not sure how you engineer brakes like that, but it can't be easy. Even worse, they are so sloppy that coming to a stop is always a herky-jerky affair. No poise or finesse at all.
....
The 5HP30 transmission, of course, is absolute garbage and any search of this site will bear that out. "Lifetime" fluid seems to mean a transmission guaranteed to fail at 100k miles. Incidentally, the trans costs $5,000 from BMW.
.....
I've been reduced to an '89 Honda by this masterpiece of German engineering and I thank God for it every night. The Honda is nearly 20 years old, with 180k miles. . . . It is a beater in every sense of the word. But, it still gets 27-31 mpg. It still drives without complaint. It starts immediately, every single time I turn the key. Paul

I drive a 1995 530i. It now has 235,000 miles on it and still drives like new. It has never had the heads off and the automatic transmission has never been out of the car. The original A/C still blows cold, and the handling is taut. I am no genius - I just change the oil regularly, and fix things when they begin to show wear. In 235k miles, I have replaced lots of bushings, brake parts, belts, seals, etc.

I am in the minority when I disagree about the auto trans. Mine shifts like new. (I still wish I has a manual, but for reasons other than reliability) By the way, it does not require expensive fluid - standard Dextron III is spec. Why BMW ever called this "lifetime" is a total mystery and they deserve all the **** the owner commmunity gives them for that.

You need competent help with your car. Sadly, the dealer is the last place to go for that. BMW deserves a heap of grief for this awful state of affairs. In fact, I will probably never buy a new BMW - but that is a rant of its own.

I appreciate your feelings for the Honda - I've owned several Hondas and other such "transportation appliances". No question they get the job done. Choice is a wonderful thing - make the choice that's right for you.

Let us know what you decide to do with your 540 - I wish you could experience the joy that is buried in there. It's also fun when someone asks how you like your new car and you tell them it's 13 years old.

Best of luck to you.

Mike

[Ferret]

This is an interesting thread...!

There's a lot of balance to this thread methinks - a lot of people saying that bmws are not for everyone. I definitely agree with this sentiment as these cars are complete attention whores. You fix one thing and something else tends to break on them, only usually minor though that doesnt take a lot of effort to fix yourself.

I also agree with the sentiment that autoboxes generally are a ticking timebomb from the day they leave the factory - the guys with modern ones are currently scratching their heads over bad software causing dangerous take-off delays etc, etc... however...

I've got a lot of good things to say about BMWs - one of my main observations is that it's very easy to ignore problems on them and let them disappear into a black hole of no maintennance! They just keep running and wont die usually - take my first 525iA for example.

I got 6 months use out of it before its head gasket went and the head cracked shortly thereafter... finding M50 2.5 heads in this country at a reasonable price is hard work. So - out of desperation we strapped an M50 2.0 head to it and sent it on its way. Ran for 6 months with much more thrashy behaviour due to the extra compression - big ends went on cyl 3 and that piston pretty much self destructed. Zero Compression.

Most of the guys on the board are now probably going to yell at me for what happened next - but due to a lack of funds at the time I couldnt replace the car after moving into a new flat. Basically with a busted piston - we pulled the injector plug and just kept running it as a runaround.

The car was still going strong as its MOT came up, but it had to be retired as it'd never pass it's emissions.

My point? I bought the car for £300 (appr $600) with 6 months MOT, got it through its next one with no problems - and then spent £100 on a new head and parts to fit it. There's no way in hell that car should have lasted 18 months - but it just kept soldiering on till I could get some funds together and buy another one - now a loyal fan at how strong the BMW engineering is.
Now that's a beater!


Another observation I've made - with a few exceptions - there's never anything that's especially difficult to work on on these cars. Okay, it may take some time to get a job done - but it's all usually pretty straightforwards if you've got the right tools.

I'm currently on my 3rd E34 now - and I'm not going to stand here and say they're perfect - they most definitely aren't. However for an amateur mechanic they're an absoloute dream - easy to work on and so long as you keep it well maintained, worth every bit of blood, sweat and swearing you have to pour into them to keep them on the road. Despite it's faults that I'm gradually mopping up - the 540i/6 I have currently is without doubt the best car I've ever owned.

As many have said here - if you want something low maintennance you will have to look for something smaller and lighter. Technically your honda probably gives a better ride than your E34 at the moment - but if you were willing to get your hands dirty and replace all the worn out suspension and brakes - your E34 would far outstrip the performance and comfort of your honda.

To bring it back out of neglect note two things:-
i) It's not going to be quick, and...
ii) It's not going to be cheap.

At the end of the day, we all form opinions on things by the good points and bad points of something - we never stop to look at the rest that's on par, or stuff we dont notice.

If it's really what you want to do, close this chapter of your 'car career' and get shot of the E34 - however dont be surprised if you get in one in a few years and think '****... so this is what I'm missing!' - because you will.

[repenttokyo]

sorry you got a lemon. My 525 has 380 000 km on it, is 17 years old, and lightyears ahead of an 89 Honda. Oh and I get 27 mpg in it too.

[prosenfe]

Hi again and thanks to all who replied. Thanks especially Ferret for your wise words and much props for your jury-rigging prowess.
I think that's the real problem here. There is something special about the car, the power does take my breath away. The quietude at speed is ethereal. The looks are divine. Unfortunately, there is so much fork-in-your-eye design that its more exasperating than enjoyable.
Contrary to what some have suggested, I am a very, very good mechanic. I've rebuilt an engine, two auto trannies and have done all my own work for years now. I will do the engine swap on the Honda next week and it will be done correctly and to factory spec, per the Honda manual. I did the Inspection II on the BMW myself. I also replaced the thrust arm bushings. The Inspection was easy. The bushings were a nightmare. The car sat on jackstands for a month while I fought to have Pep Boys (only machine shop open on a weekend) replace the thrust arm they destroyed while pressing in the bushings. Yes, they needed the special BMW arbors to press in the bushings properly, but Honda manages to design arms that don't need special arbors. BMW, on the other hand, seems to have decided that was a good place to teach poor fools like me a lesson. After that, I used a highly regarded (different) shop.
As a mechanic, I know fork-in-your-eye design when I see it. Ferret, I notice you have a manual trans in your 540, so you can't relate to how terrible the 5HP30 truly is in this regard. You can't even check the fluid level without a lift. Yes, you can put the car on jackstands in your driveway, but the level must be checked with the car running, at operating temp. I'm not real excited about being flat on my back under a hot, running 3,600 lb. car. Can you blame me if I take it to the shop?
Yes, I definitely got swindled on this. You are all justified in thinking me an idiot. I deserve it.
In my defense, some pics of the car in question:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/dr_snooz/sets/72157603651170044/detail/

It's clearly no hoopty.
Despite my whining about cost, I don't care that much about it...so long as I get reliability for it. Is there a distant horizon somewhere that I will cross where I won't come out my front door to greet another puddle under the car? Or do I steel myself to this prissy, temperamental nonsense for evermore?

[Russell]

Great to see you can do much of the work yourself. BMW does have some dumb over engineered ways of doing things. Checking trany fluid without a dipstick is one of them.

The car does look good. However, most e34 owners have found at about 100,000 plus miles there is a fairly large amount of work that needs to be done. Yours may have been compounded by deferred work.

Wish I could say that even after fixing everything it will be solid. Heck your heater core could start leaking. That is a major time consuming repair.

BTW, notice your car looks as if it has style 32 wheels possibly off an e39. If so, make sure they have hubcentric rings oor you will get vibration at speed.

[Robert K]

I've not had the same experience you've had with my 1991 535i. It was well taken care of before I got it and I've kept it well maintain for the nine years I've owned it. But, when something goes wrong, it can get expensive.

For the dollar, you just can't beat a Honda or Toyota. I also have a 1997 Camry V-6 that has been a wonderful car. I think the only major problems I've had were leaking valve cover gaskets and a leaking power steering rack. I let an local independent replace the rack and I did the valve cover gaskets myself. Other than that, I've only had to replace normal wear items.

We also just bought a 2003 Honda Accord 4 cyl. for my wife. It's another great car. It feels very tight and just drives nice.

I've actually got my 535i for sale because I don't drive it much and because it only gets 23 mpg on its best day. I've enjoyed having it, but I will not mind replacing it with the Camry one bit.

Regarding my comments about Consumer Reports...if you want to help yourself buy a good used car, start with their used car buying guide which typically comes out at the beginning of the year. The information contained in that publication will show you everything about any used car you might be considering. And it will for sure show you that most every European car will not hold up as well as a Honda or Toyota. Believe it or not, Mercedes used to be the quality standard for automobiles. Now, they suck. That's why I study Consumer Reports thoroughly before making a used car purchase.

Grace and peace,

Robert K
1991 535i (for sale)
1997 Toyota Camry V-6
2003 Honda Accord I-4

[attack eagle]

sorry to hear of your troubles...
as others have said the autoboxes seem to be expensive ticking timebombs in many cases by the time 12-15 years have rolled around. Mine failed out of the blue 40k after a PO spent almost what I paid for the car to have it rebuilt.

which is why I'm going 5 speed.

I understand the frustration, and I've been there... just not with my i6.

[Ferret]

--Unfortunately, there is so much fork-in-your-eye design that its more exasperating than enjoyable.

--Contrary to what some have suggested, I am a very, very good mechanic. I've rebuilt an engine, two auto trannies and have done all my own work for years now.

--The bushings were a nightmare. The car sat on jackstands for a month while I fought to have Pep Boys (only machine shop open on a weekend) replace the thrust arm they destroyed while pressing in the bushings. Yes, they needed the special BMW arbors to press in the bushings properly

--As a mechanic, I know fork-in-your-eye design when I see it. Ferret, I notice you have a manual trans in your 540, so you can't relate to how terrible the 5HP30 truly is in this regard. You can't even check the fluid level without a lift. Yes, you can put the car on jackstands in your driveway, but the level must be checked with the car running, at operating temp.

--Yes, I definitely got swindled on this. You are all justified in thinking me an idiot. I deserve it.

--Despite my whining about cost, I don't care that much about it...so long as I get reliability for it. Is there a distant horizon somewhere that I will cross where I won't come out my front door to greet another puddle under the car?

To answer some of your points here:

The 'fork in your eye' design quite often turns out to be fairly simple if you just change the whole part that's causing the trouble. Take the thrust arm bushings for example - if you'd come here sooner we'd have told you not to bother just changing the bushing, but the arm as well - you can get the whole arm with bushing already fitted for not much money.

This is why your handling appears vague - by the time the thrust arm bushing is shot, it's usually time to change the balljoints at the end of the arm as well. My 525TDs I had before the 540i was in serious need of new suspension arms underneath - it'd wander all over the road of its own accord if you let it... but I got under there in the end and swapped both the upper and lower control arms out. Suddenly the car was handling like the day it was born again.

You might want to check your shocks as well - the traditional 'bounce each corner' test doesnt work on the E34 - the anti-roll bars are so good that if one shock is busted, they cause the other to do the work for both sides.

If you can do your own work, then I'd replace all the arms and your shocks in one go - it'll transform the car and is a very rewarding job to do! It doesnt cost a huge amount of money either if you do it yourself.

As to your point about the auto box, yes I've not had a 5HP30 before, but my two prior E34s have had the nasty 5HP18 box in them, which I'm told operates in a very similar fashion. Both have been stereotypically bad tempered and unpredictable, so I know what it's like to own these - they're an utter nightmare. Once you get used to them however they can be quite fun to drive - the trick is predicting the unpredictability! :D

You did get swindled, but you're not an idiot - you did the right thing by having it inspected, it's a good looking car and you couldnt have predicted this mess its gotten you into! If you've rebuilt transmissions before, I'd advise taking this one out and doing a complete rebuild on it yourself - change every seal in it so you know it's done.

TBH - if you're willing to do the work yourself all I see is that you've got two things to do to the car to bring it up to it's old level of drivability -
i) Change the suspension arms up front
ii) Rebuild the auto box yourself/use someone you trust.

There'll be a lot of other stuff that needs fiddling with, but just doing the above should cure your lack of confidence in the car... If I were you and had the time - I'd hang on a bit before throwing in the towel! You've not got that far to go really

[genphreak]

Farout. Sounds like bad luck that, but there is much to check on these cars and a lot to go wrong.

One that goes unmaintained for a while tends to have a host of issues which cause chain-reactions on others. If the car is maintained then you don't get such trouble as so much is preventative (up unto something like 240,000(?) miles).

However these days lots of people seem to refer to these cars as beaters and many others treat them with disrespect or indifference which from a car's perspetive is the same. The difference is that an old Bimmer will not take this lying down. You get German attitude- ie little complaint at the time of an indiscretion and plenty of pain afterwards...

You might be better to sell it to someone that will take the time and care and buy a commodity car that is easier to maintain. With resources like this site on the web, it is hard to claim ignorance- it is easy to see extent of things that need to be done- and how.

However I have to say that from a back-yarders point of view, a 540i is the WRONG car to buy unless you have our own hoist. All BMWs are designed to have repair procedures starting underneath... but the V8 and V12 mandate it. Especilally those with hi-po, state of the art (20 yrs ago) 5 speed slushboxes.

For sure- there are plenty of people out there that have enough money to drive cars like these like trash- but from the posts such people leave on bimmer fourms like these nowadays, they are only on their way up appreciation and understadning ladder. What happens to all the cars they discard however bares some thinking about. ie How many burnouts did they do before putting the old tires back on?

If they had any mechanical understanding they'd be more restrained so that the can share in the joy of driving these old beasts- not abusing them.

Better luck 'wid da Honda'- or fixing the Beast- whichever you decide. To fix the brakes just change the pads (don't use any form of racing pads) and the rotors (oparts cheapies from BMA are excellent) and flush with 'Super Dot 4' fluid only. With the tranny seals- there are only two that wear (one in and one out)- if they go wrong, someone managed not to fit the new one by the book, according to the procedure, or with a pretty low level of practical experience. I would suggest you download the TIS so you can be better preprared/informed before getting things done on a tranny full of liquid gold (of course, modern gearboxes now all are).

If a pro or a dealer did such a poor job for me, I'm sure they'd look after it- but I'd be a lot surer they'd do it right.

[Ross]

I'm not even going to finish reading this but "flame you" straight away.
You are a fool to buy a complicated car you acknowledge was neglected for 120,000 miles.
I have zero sympathy for you.
The "lifetime" fluid you've been paying $25/qt. for should be Dexron III, you haven't even read the owners manual.
Get a horse.

[repenttokyo]

you know, all automatic transmissions require the car to be idling for the fluid levels to be checked, hardly 'fork in your eye' design from BMW.

[leicesterboy15]

IMHO having had both and being a (very) novice mechanic the 535i is so much simpler and easier to work on. You can see the whole engine for a start (the 540 disappears into the bulkhead and has a huge intake manifold covering most bits) and theres more space to get your hands in in the 3.5 plus less electrics!

I have to say though even for me the rest of the car is nuts and bolts, I managed to swap out the suspension arms without too much trouble, couple of head-scratchers but nothing too bad. Car looks great and if I were you I would stick with it, if you can do the work yourself why not go for a 6 speed manual conversion and put the auto in the bin? There are people on here who have done the swap in their driveways so for you it should be a doddle.

[mikell]

It now sits in my driveway with a puddle of trans oil underneath it. The $25/qt. "lifetime" variety. That makes fully four times it has randomly disgorged it's trans oil on the driveway. Each time it finds a new seal to break. This time, it's thrown down a puddle of coolant for good measure.
The 5HP30 transmission, of course, is absolute garbage and any search of this site will bear that out. "Lifetime" fluid seems to mean a transmission guaranteed to fail at 100k miles. Incidentally, the trans costs $5,000 from BMW.

Just wondering if charging the transmission with the wrong fluid could have caused the problems you've been having with it. Maybe one of our members who has some expertise could shed some light on whether the expensive "lifetime" stuff has chemical qualities that are incompatible with this gearbox designed for "old fashinoed" Dextron III. If so, perhaps somebody owes you a rebuilt slushbox.

Or not - I'm no expert on the topic.

[whiskychaser]

Just wondering if charging the transmission with the wrong fluid could have caused the problems you've been having with it. Maybe one of our members who has some expertise could shed some light on whether the expensive "lifetime" stuff has chemical qualities that are incompatible with this gearbox designed for "old fashinoed" Dextron III. If so, perhaps somebody owes you a rebuilt slushbox.

Or not - I'm no expert on the topic.
Happen to have ZF's oil ref chart on file. For the 5HP30 it reads:
Black plate : Shell LA2634
Green plate : Esso LT71141
Dexron III is indeed mentioned for my own 5HP18 but not for the 5HP30. And maybe I'm the exception that proves the rule but I'm very happy with it.

[Paul in NZ]

Hi again and thanks to all who replied. Thanks especially Ferret for your wise words and much props for your jury-rigging prowess.
I think that's the real problem here. There is something special about the car, the power does take my breath away. The quietude at speed is ethereal. The looks are divine. Unfortunately, there is so much fork-in-your-eye design that its more exasperating than enjoyable.
Contrary to what some have suggested, I am a very, very good mechanic. I've rebuilt an engine, two auto trannies and have done all my own work for years now. I will do the engine swap on the Honda next week and it will be done correctly and to factory spec, per the Honda manual. I did the Inspection II on the BMW myself. I also replaced the thrust arm bushings. The Inspection was easy. The bushings were a nightmare. The car sat on jackstands for a month while I fought to have Pep Boys (only machine shop open on a weekend) replace the thrust arm they destroyed while pressing in the bushings. Yes, they needed the special BMW arbors to press in the bushings properly, but Honda manages to design arms that don't need special arbors. BMW, on the other hand, seems to have decided that was a good place to teach poor fools like me a lesson. After that, I used a highly regarded (different) shop.
As a mechanic, I know fork-in-your-eye design when I see it. Ferret, I notice you have a manual trans in your 540, so you can't relate to how terrible the 5HP30 truly is in this regard. You can't even check the fluid level without a lift. Yes, you can put the car on jackstands in your driveway, but the level must be checked with the car running, at operating temp. I'm not real excited about being flat on my back under a hot, running 3,600 lb. car. Can you blame me if I take it to the shop?
Yes, I definitely got swindled on this. You are all justified in thinking me an idiot. I deserve it.
In my defense, some pics of the car in question:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/dr_snooz/sets/72157603651170044/detail/

It's clearly no hoopty.
Despite my whining about cost, I don't care that much about it...so long as I get reliability for it. Is there a distant horizon somewhere that I will cross where I won't come out my front door to greet another puddle under the car? Or do I steel myself to this prissy, temperamental nonsense for evermore?
And props to you for coming back to face the music and acknowledge your own mistakes.It seems the main problems with the car are the trans and the brakes.BMW dont build the transmissions,and i can asuure there is something wrong with the brakes..but thats not the cars or BMWs design.I would say you want to like this car,so give it a shot....it will cause some pain..but the reward is also something that no Honda or Toyota will give you.
However ,if all cars are meant to be appliances to you then get rid of it NOW

[mikell]

OOPS - my mistake - seems that dextron is the spec for the 5 spd auto in my 530, but synthetic is spec'd for the similar - but different - unit in the 540.

I still have no complaints about my slushbox (except that I'd prefer a manual for reasons other than reliability) - I am aiming for 300k miles on this baby.

[Ross]

Agreed, "props" for coming back. As for my reply I'll stand corrected on the trans oil. Like I said I didn't read all and assumed you had the other wunderkind autobox the 4L30E.
Comparing your car to a Honda isn't a fair comparison to either car. The Honda is an appliance, a Bimmer, especially yours is for an enthusiast.
You know how much more complicated a BM is compared to that Honda.
I know someone who swears their prior Hyundai was a great car because it lasted over 100k, nothing worked any longer and it was necesarry to carry oil but it still ran. Lower expectations.
You are preaching to the choir regarding the lifetime trans fluid and the procedure to check it. A few external seals ought to remedy it.
Something is wrong with your brakes, I'm guessing someone put "racey" pads on it.
It may cost you more to sort this car than it's worth but that's the price you pay for having a neglected car. Once sorted they are quite nice.
There is more than enough information among the members here to help you square this car away.
I've also knowingly bought neglected BMWs, 750s no less, and spent lots sorting them only to loose my arse in the end. Maybe cut your losses on this one and find a better example.
So good luck Paul and my appologies for calling you a fool.

[prosenfe]

So good luck Paul and my appologies for calling you a fool.

Thanks for that. :)

[rob101]

Just wondering if charging the transmission with the wrong fluid could have caused the problems you've been having with it. Maybe one of our members who has some expertise could shed some light on whether the expensive "lifetime" stuff has chemical qualities that are incompatible with this gearbox designed for "old fashinoed" Dextron III. If so, perhaps somebody owes you a rebuilt slushbox.

Or not - I'm no expert on the topic.
With what i've learned since being involved in the maintenance of heavy industrial equipment with hydraulic systems much larger than a zf 5 speed auto (but also including ZF gearboxes of 12 gears or more). I'd suggest that "lifetime" stuff (or "long life" stuff depending on your gullitability), is not designed to last forever, hell no hydraulic oil can do that even with water seperators and very very good filtration systems. Ergo perhaps people should think of it as a "long life" oil.
Machines frequently live past their "lifetimes" as they may have a lighter duty than what was assumed for in their design. However lifetime fluid will last for a set period regardless of its "duty" in fact if the car is not used as much the oil will pick up more moisture than if it is used more. Of course eventually the filter will stop working also.
Personally and i could be totally wrong about this, I seriously doubt that any "lifetime" oil will last more than 100 000 kms of 5 years especially without a water seperator. But in the end of the day, one can be a cheap bastard and leave yourself or someone else with the problems of shitty oil in his gearbox in another 100-150 000 kms time. Or take out relatively cheap insurance and change the oil and filter every 100 000 kms even if it is supposedly sealed for life.

This is not directed at anyone in particular and if i were in the same position as the thread starter I'd have done the same thing. Fortunately I've been lucky in that the challenges I have faced have not been more rapidly increasing in difficulty than the pace at which i've been climbing the learning curve of bmw ownership.

I don't know why this is, but these days I would and do (recently had one as a hire car) hate to drive a toyota, sure they don't break down but who cares I don't invest my self-esteem in whether my car breaks down or not and I have made my life so i don't really HAVE to rely on my car. that said my car has proven reliable for the most part even though she is very old 275 000 kms in machine years.
I think and this could be totally wrong, in some cases alot of people opt out of bmw ownership because they get scared. They get hit with some big bills from bad workshops who take them for a ride and they throw in the towel. Of course its the cars fault that there aren't many people who can work on their car or unscrupulous mechanics who take advantage of their trusting nature?

Could also be the short term "i'll buy the cheapest one i can get" mentality of first time buyers trying to get the "best deal". In bmws as in most things in life you get what you paid for. If you go for the bottom end of the market you'll likely end up with a POS, if you're willing to take that risk its not a big deal: you're prepared for it. But I think that alot of people don't see that, they seem to be taught that lesson by a bmw and blame the car. Its only because with a bmw that "you get what you paid for" the downsides are much larger but then again, so is the upside (otherwise why would we be on this site?) Again is this the car's fault, is it nothing to do with the "something for nothing attitude" of the buyer?

[Zeuk in Oz]

I think this is a wonderful thread because it is so instructive.

I bought my first BMW as a safe European car for my oldest to learn to drive in. Long before I discovered this site or the importance of buying a well maintained car.

My ignorance meant that my 2 oldest sons and I had a head gasket to replace after 18 months, plus multiple maintenance issues - probably most frustrating of which was the fan sword.

The old bomb is still running well 60,000 km after we replaced the head gasket and I have bought two 5 series since, an E39 and another, newer E34.

I think most of us learn from the mistakes we made with our first bimmer and then try avoiding them with subsequent purchases. That is certainly the case in my case.

What also has to be realised is that all markets are not the same - you cannot buy a 5 series BMW in Oz with a manual gearbox manufactured after 1992. They were not imported by BMW at all. Thus my joy at finding my grey import 525ix which is manual and has dual airbags, even if its gearing is too low.

I do really notice and appreciate the wonderful feel of its rack and pinion steering compared to my 525i though. This has taken me a little while to appreciate, but it leaves me wanting a rack in the 525i as its steering just doesn't have the same response.

Discussion of engines is also interesting. I am much less impressed with my 2.5 M50 with single vanos than either my 2.8 M52TU with double vanos or indeed even my 2.5 M20. The M20 has such a purity of performance and smoothness that it is a joy every time I hear its exhaust note. In my opinion the M50 needs further refinement, which is probably why it became the 2.8 M52TU.

My only advice to you Paul is do enough to your car to get it to drive and feel like a BMW and then you will never compare it to a Honda again. Then either keep going or buy your second BMW more wisely and you will never look back.

And next time, by a straight 6 - you will not regret it.

Cheers,

Bo

[uscharalph]

I was warned against the 540 and steered towards my 525. It's up to 284,000 miles on it now and running strong as ever. I'd love more power, but I love driving mine anyway.

[Mr._Graybeard]

I've put about 45K miles on a '95 540i that I bought with 82K miles in November '04. It has been a great car. The deal-maker was documented replacement of the short block (Alusil), water pump, radiator and control/thrust arms within the previous 20K miles. I wouldn't have bought the car without receipts, which the PO had because he used the car in his business. The car came with a bad driver's window regulator motor (too many Illinois tollbooths) and a twisted seat back. Carfax showed that the car's original owner was a business, which means it was an executive perk, and maintenance then also was tax deductible.

The car's one troubling quirk was slightly erratic shifting between 4th and 5th gears. After tinkering with fluids and filters (tossed the lifetime fluid, went with Pennzoil Multi-Vehicle ATF) I examined the control module and found a chip in the TCM was not original. I knew that BMW dealers replaced the ECM chip when installing an Alusil block, and I assume that's when the TCM chip was swapped out.

The TCM and ECM work closely in this vehicle, so I decided to take a shot in the dark and dropped $400 on TCM and ECM chips from Dinan. The improvement was obvious and immediate. I'm sure other aftermarket engine chip-mappers can beat Dinan, but my goal was not to extract maximum horsepower; I just wanted the engine and trans working together smoothly. Got that now.

Anyway, I'd suggest prosenfe explore the possibility of leaking seals at the harness plug and selector shaft if the trans is leaky but working well. If the trans isn't working right, do a manual conversion and you'll probably increase the car's value in the process. Assuming engine compression is up to snuff, of course. Is it a Nikasil? Perhaps I missed that.

[prosenfe]

A brief epilogue: Took the car in. The coolant came from the radiator, which is now new. The ATF came from the selector shaft seal. The car failed smog too. By miles. Nice. Turned out to be the 15,000 mile old plugs. Marvelous design that 15,000 mile old plugs would fail smog. I'm now nearly $1,000 lighter, which makes $4,000 in the two years I've owned it. I've driven it 15,000 miles.
This car is going. I now despise everything German with a black and relentless hatred. The radiator failure really symbolizes what's wrong with these cars. I recently replaced the radiator on my Honda. The Honda developed some minor coolant seepage with the engine at operating temp, telling me it was time to replace it. I could have continued driving for who knows how long, but I replaced it because I don't like broken down stuff. The BMW, by contrast, dumped two gallons of fluid on my driveway in the middle of the night, leaving me stranded...again. The Honda works with me, letting me know that something needs love and then giving me a lot of time to fix it. The BMW just fails, catastrophically and expensively. I get no warning, just a brokedown car in the driveway one morning. The driving experience is entirely marred by the implacable nature of every repair. I am so freaked out by every odd noise that the black ice alarm invokes a Pavlovian fit of anaphylaxis every time it sounds.
You can keep your temperamental, PMSey cars. I'm over them.

[uscharalph]

Too bad, I've had a pretty good experience with my E34.

[Ferret]

Your experience with this car is the complete opposite of any experience I've had with three of these cars.

My experience thus far is that if something fails, the car tends to battle on regardless - radiator and hose leaks (notwithstanding) are something that happen in car ownership and are not a major life-stopping event. They're incidental.

The Rover 220i I used to own (that was honda built) by comparison used to throw all kinds of **** at me that would completely terminate any use of the car till fixed!

It eventually died when the honda gearbox died at just 110k miles!

It's all swings and roundabouts mate, it depends on how the car's been treated upto the point where you put the cash down for it - and then on how you decide to treat it after that!

[Ferret]

I think the term is "I'm So over them".

Later girlfriend, you bought a car with issues.

Dave M

You just made my day Dave, official!

[Ross]

Sounds like you need to sell real cheap since it's such a heap. Anywhere near Chicago? I'd be happy to relieve of your misery and get the car properly sorted.
Different strokes for different folks, enjoy the Honda.

[Dave M]

A brief epilogue: Took the car in. The coolant came from the radiator, which is now new. The ATF came from the selector shaft seal. The car failed smog too. By miles. Nice. Turned out to be the 15,000 mile old plugs. Marvelous design that 15,000 mile old plugs would fail smog. I'm now nearly $1,000 lighter, which makes $4,000 in the two years I've owned it. I've driven it 15,000 miles.
This car is going. I now despise everything German with a black and relentless hatred. The radiator failure really symbolizes what's wrong with these cars. I recently replaced the radiator on my Honda. The Honda developed some minor coolant seepage with the engine at operating temp, telling me it was time to replace it. I could have continued driving for who knows how long, but I replaced it because I don't like broken down stuff. The BMW, by contrast, dumped two gallons of fluid on my driveway in the middle of the night, leaving me stranded...again. The Honda works with me, letting me know that something needs love and then giving me a lot of time to fix it. The BMW just fails, catastrophically and expensively. I get no warning, just a brokedown car in the driveway one morning. The driving experience is entirely marred by the implacable nature of every repair. I am so freaked out by every odd noise that the black ice alarm invokes a Pavlovian fit of anaphylaxis every time it sounds.
You can keep your temperamental, PMSey cars. I'm over them.

I think the term is "I'm So over them".

Later girlfriend, you bought a car with issues.

Dave M

[632 Regal]

The entire problem you experience lies within the fact that BMW has "preventative maintenance measures" which include replacing things like fluids, belts and pumps and parts when they are not even broken. Radiators are known to need replacement at intervals but not documented on the BMW check list. Your car needs this or toss it to the curb like an old wife...read up and learn and quit whining.


A brief epilogue: Took the car in. The coolant came from the radiator, which is now new. The ATF came from the selector shaft seal. The car failed smog too. By miles. Nice. Turned out to be the 15,000 mile old plugs. Marvelous design that 15,000 mile old plugs would fail smog. I'm now nearly $1,000 lighter, which makes $4,000 in the two years I've owned it. I've driven it 15,000 miles.
This car is going. I now despise everything German with a black and relentless hatred. The radiator failure really symbolizes what's wrong with these cars. I recently replaced the radiator on my Honda. The Honda developed some minor coolant seepage with the engine at operating temp, telling me it was time to replace it. I could have continued driving for who knows how long, but I replaced it because I don't like broken down stuff. The BMW, by contrast, dumped two gallons of fluid on my driveway in the middle of the night, leaving me stranded...again. The Honda works with me, letting me know that something needs love and then giving me a lot of time to fix it. The BMW just fails, catastrophically and expensively. I get no warning, just a brokedown car in the driveway one morning. The driving experience is entirely marred by the implacable nature of every repair. I am so freaked out by every odd noise that the black ice alarm invokes a Pavlovian fit of anaphylaxis every time it sounds.
You can keep your temperamental, PMSey cars. I'm over them.

[attack eagle]

A brief epilogue: Took the car in. The coolant came from the radiator, which is now new. The ATF came from the selector shaft seal. The car failed smog too. By miles. Nice. Turned out to be the 15,000 mile old plugs. Marvelous design that 15,000 mile old plugs would fail smog. I'm now nearly $1,000 lighter, which makes $4,000 in the two years I've owned it. I've driven it 15,000 miles.
This car is going. I now despise everything German with a black and relentless hatred. The radiator failure really symbolizes what's wrong with these cars. I recently replaced the radiator on my Honda. The Honda developed some minor coolant seepage with the engine at operating temp, telling me it was time to replace it. I could have continued driving for who knows how long, but I replaced it because I don't like broken down stuff. The BMW, by contrast, dumped two gallons of fluid on my driveway in the middle of the night, leaving me stranded...again. The Honda works with me, letting me know that something needs love and then giving me a lot of time to fix it. The BMW just fails, catastrophically and expensively. I get no warning, just a brokedown car in the driveway one morning. The driving experience is entirely marred by the implacable nature of every repair. I am so freaked out by every odd noise that the black ice alarm invokes a Pavlovian fit of anaphylaxis every time it sounds.
You can keep your temperamental, PMSey cars. I'm over them.
Cool, more e34s for ME!!!
BTW, you know WHY I bought an E34? Because Other than the 70s 'appliance' volvos tehy were the most reliable, easiest to maintain cars of all the import marques at teh shop I worked at 10 years ago.
Including honda... I'd never driveone of those POS, fail out of the blue, expensive shitboxes... so our experiences are diametrically opposite.
I just swapped to a five speed manual with only $30 worth of tools, a jack, jackstands and my trusty 36" breaker bar, in my own garage... And $1100 in parts.

I swear I think this guy must have bought ohnoes old car... I know that over abused money pit 540 POS is up for sale yet again after the new owner dumped another 4k into it... and it still ain't worth a damn. Sounds familiar, huh?
Some cars TRULY NEED to be junked/parted out instead of just sucking funds.

[yaofeng]

I'll be happy to take this heap of trouble off your hands. I am ready for another 6 speed project.

[repenttokyo]

A brief epilogue: Took the car in. The coolant came from the radiator, which is now new. The ATF came from the selector shaft seal. The car failed smog too. By miles. Nice. Turned out to be the 15,000 mile old plugs. Marvelous design that 15,000 mile old plugs would fail smog. I'm now nearly $1,000 lighter, which makes $4,000 in the two years I've owned it. I've driven it 15,000 miles.
This car is going. I now despise everything German with a black and relentless hatred. The radiator failure really symbolizes what's wrong with these cars. I recently replaced the radiator on my Honda. The Honda developed some minor coolant seepage with the engine at operating temp, telling me it was time to replace it. I could have continued driving for who knows how long, but I replaced it because I don't like broken down stuff. The BMW, by contrast, dumped two gallons of fluid on my driveway in the middle of the night, leaving me stranded...again. The Honda works with me, letting me know that something needs love and then giving me a lot of time to fix it. The BMW just fails, catastrophically and expensively. I get no warning, just a brokedown car in the driveway one morning. The driving experience is entirely marred by the implacable nature of every repair. I am so freaked out by every odd noise that the black ice alarm invokes a Pavlovian fit of anaphylaxis every time it sounds.
You can keep your temperamental, PMSey cars. I'm over them.


$4000 over 2 years, that comes out to 166 dollars a month. That is what I spend on GAS every month. If you can't afford 166 dollars a month to maintain a car that is almost 20 years old, maybe you should stop bagging groceries and get a real job and stop complaining.

In the meantime my car is at 389 000 km's and just drove from Montreal to Detroit and back and then from Montreal to Boston and back with no issues. That's right, 2 road trips totaling 3000 km's of trouble free driving in snow and ice. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

[Ross]

Hey! I've got dibs!
Watch for this car to show up on ebay with a grand dissertation on what a fabulous car it is.

[dacoyote]

Hey! I've got dibs!
Watch for this car to show up on ebay with a grand dissertation on what a fabulous car it is.

Thats not fair.. there is a lot of nice cars on ebay :-)

[Ross]

There are just as many crappy ones. Can you tell the difference from your keyboard?

[dacoyote]

Sorry.. the sarcasm didn't get conveyed... and was missed.. there is many more junk cars on ebay then good...

[Dave M]

$4000 over 2 years, that comes out to 166 dollars a month. That is what I spend on GAS every month. If you can't afford 166 dollars a month to maintain a car that is almost 20 years old, maybe you should stop bagging groceries and get a real job and stop complaining.

In the meantime my car is at 389 000 km's and just drove from Montreal to Detroit and back and then from Montreal to Boston and back with no issues. That's right, 2 road trips totaling 3000 km's of trouble free driving in snow and ice. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

While I understand where you're coming from, I have to admit that if it took $166/month to maintain my e34, someone else would own it ;) Thats a bit much to ask for any used vehicle.

Since completing all the engine work on my 500+k km sled, its been smooooooooth sailing. This past we did 8000km from T_Bay to Cape Breton (and back :D ).

Keep it rollin,

Dave M

[Russell]

IMO, that is about average to maintain these cars as they get older. The maintenance/repair list is long on my car since I have purchased it for maintenance and repairs. I have put almost 80,000 miles on it in 5 years.

I fully expect to put at least another $1,000 or so this year, not counting the $680 I have spent already for new tires and $250 for rear bumper trim covers and repainting my back bumper.

Any older car will require much more care than a new car. There-my two cents worth!

[Ross]

I'll plead guilty to being slow on the uptake here.

[Paul in NZ]

but its not 166 per month is it.....it comes in big bites and can hurt......we are wasting our time here.

[repenttokyo]

you are right, it's not 166 per month, with my car it's zero per month.

[skr]

ricer...

[dacoyote]

ricer...

LOL

[repenttokyo]

zombie-thread, dude. pray for a headshot.


actually it's because the OP came back to bitch some more.

[healtoeit]

Show me a car with 150,000 miles on it that doesn't need work! My Girl's minivan blew up at that milage! Plus you are in the time when the parts on the car are all warn down from use... as well from age, 17 year old rubber isn't good to use, on anyhting ;).
If your a good mechanic, and i'm not saying you are not, you would know that these parts should be and will need to be changed! If you got a lemon I can understand, but at this mileage you cant judge the car to new ones in terms of parts that need to be replaced.
My 525i has not failed me, except when I broke the clutch which lasted to 172,000 miles :D stop lights are soo much fun!
Anyway, the ergonomics I believe to be better then most new cars. I love the dials verves a button for the heat/air, and what is wrong w/ the ac? its 1 button!
Lastly, if you put the car on cruse control, you ain't driving fast enough!
;)
I hope you can fix it though! They are great cars, and mega fun!

[mikell]

Why is this thread still alive?

[dacoyote]

zombie-thread, dude. pray for a headshot.


actually it's because the OP came back to bitch some more.

I couldn't help posting in the zombie threads...I will try better... (darn.. I just did it again)