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View Full Version : !@#% F-me F-me FFF-MMEE!!! I am such a dumb-ass



gale
05-25-2007, 10:38 AM
Repeat after me -- a 3 is not a 7! Changing the oil in my wife's e36 last nite, roll out the floorjack and place it under the front crossmember -- WRONG!!! Heard a little crunching, thought it was gravel between the splash pan and crossmember -- WRONG! Kept jacking -- WRONG! Unbeknownst to me at the time, the crunching was the oil pan cracking. Changed the oil & filter, checked for leaks, called it good, announced to wife her car is good to go. She backs it out this morning & parked it to load her stuff, backed it out some more and now there's a fresh puddle about 18" around. Hmm? says I, could it have dribbled onto the splash pan when I drained it while up on a slant and is now dribbling out when parked on the level? I pulled it up the driveway and raise it again. The oil pan is all cracked to ****. F-Me F-Me- F-Me!!! I am such a dumb-ass. A 3 is not a 7. Good thing I know the best TIG welder in New Mexico & can get freebees. Downside is I'll be wrenching on my wife's POS this 3-day weekend instead of getting the turbo sorted out for my 7. F-Me F-Me F-Me!!!

Evan
05-25-2007, 10:46 AM
you and i should open a shop together! together we can save the earth from greenhouse gases

DanDombrowski
05-25-2007, 11:12 AM
Oh man, thats rough. Sorry to hear it. If I were out in NM, and I wasn't going to a wedding this weekend, I'd lend a hand.

Makes my small trans pan crack on my tranny swap look like nothing, but its always a painful feeling when you look back and say "if only I were a little more patient I wouldn't be here..."

Good luck, hope the welding goes well!

DanDombrowski
05-25-2007, 11:14 AM
Oh, and if it makes you feel any better, I once filled my GFs Camry with oil with the drain plug out, and last week I used a sponge just slightly too hard on my E46 and put some swirly scratches on the hood trying to get some bugs off. We all make these bonehead mistakes that we kick ourselves for later.

Besides, its still safer than jiffy lube :)

shrike071
05-25-2007, 11:30 AM
I caught my long-gone, but still missed 68 Caddy DeVille convertible on fire by using a Zippo lighter to look for a quarter that rolled under the seat. All that stuff they filled the seats with back then is hella flamable.

d-u-h

Got the fire out, but the smell never did quite go away....

Don't feel too bad. At least she didn't drive off!!!!!

Tiger
05-25-2007, 12:20 PM
Why in the world are you jacking up in crossmember? I never do that. Crossmember are never ever a jacking point. Get a set of Rhino ramp or jack up at the four points on the car only

Sorry to hear that, but that is a bad habit.

Ross
05-25-2007, 12:53 PM
I just looked up oil pan prices, good thing you have that friend.

ajt3nc
05-25-2007, 01:13 PM
If 3 different people put oil in a car during a busy time, it will be hard to start.
Don't ask.

Dave M
05-25-2007, 01:30 PM
Why in the world are you jacking up in crossmember? I never do that. Crossmember are never ever a jacking point. Get a set of Rhino ramp or jack up at the four points on the car only

Sorry to hear that, but that is a bad habit.

Well, I'm surprised mine isn't broken/bent or otherwise toast as its almost all I use to raise the front end. up-down up-down up-down.............

I don't want to start a jacking point debate as we've had a few n the past. Search if don't recall :)

Dave M

markus
05-25-2007, 02:02 PM
dont forget my clutch return spring bracket while your at it ;)

Robin-535im
05-25-2007, 02:09 PM
The oil pan is all cracked ...
Ouch - sorry to hear that Don.

Now tell us the truth... is this all part of the secret plan to get your wife to authorize a high-lift for Father's Day? :)

Hopefully it's contained to just the pan and it can be fixed up without too much trouble. Is that one of those pans that all the engine-swapper guys use to drop an M3 engine into a standard 3 series?

txp135
05-25-2007, 03:01 PM
Alright, you managed to scare me now because sooner or later I'm going to do something like this. I'm about to jack the car up for the first time and this gave me the cold feet. Need to do some more research...

Dave M
05-25-2007, 03:07 PM
Quick, someone post the photo of the bimmer in the 'recovery position' :D

txp135
05-25-2007, 06:09 PM
gale, I hope you don't mind me asking. But how big is the jack point area under these cars. Mine sits kind of low so if you or someone could give me an idea so I don't miss it.

Zeuk in Oz
05-25-2007, 06:13 PM
Sorry to hear that gale, but silently rather pleased that I am not the only idiot working on these cars .......

My moment of brain fade?... not realising I needed washers with the Torx bolts on my 525i M20's head.

Still, job went faster second time around ! :D

Dave M
05-25-2007, 07:55 PM
gale, I hope you don't mind me asking. But how big is the jack point area under these cars. Mine sits kind of low so if you or someone could give me an idea so I don't miss it.

Here it is, the recovery position.

Well it is admittedly not the bible on 'jacking it, note the "floor jack only" green dots on the crossmember and diff. I remain opposed to the diff, where possible, but frequent the front crossmember. Dirty me........

http://www.r3vlimited.com/Tech/Jackpoints.jpg

Dave M
05-25-2007, 07:59 PM
Oh, and Gale knows enough to not be an idiot. Post counts don't mean much ;)

shrike071
05-25-2007, 08:15 PM
Hrmm... I use the 'factory jack only' points for my floor jack all the time...

Dave M
05-25-2007, 08:34 PM
Hrmm... I use the 'factory jack only' points for my floor jack all the time...

I wouldn't know how to rig a floor jack with a 6" lift point on a crimped "factory jack point". I always thought the factory points were for the crap sciossor jack the PO bought. In all honesty, the factory points scare me.

Hrmmm....... with a longer hrmmmm......:D

Dave M

Tiger
05-25-2007, 08:55 PM
I bought a rubber pad to be used on my floor jack... so it is only rubber contact on the car. You could use hockey puck in the standard dish pad... but I'd rather have something holding that pad in place other than weight.

txp135
05-25-2007, 09:56 PM
I have the pad, it's just that I need assurance that when I jack the car up, I'm not putting a hole in the car.

icesoft
05-25-2007, 10:45 PM
I jack mine up with the tires on the drive-on lift :D :p

But when I do brake work on the lift, I use an under-hoist jack on the front frame rails or rear cross member and place jack stands at the factory jacking points. I haven't had any problems doing this with the several cars I own.

The do make special lift pads and jack pads for lifting uni-body cars at the pinch-welds... They are a block with a slot cut in it that the pinch-weld fits into. This keeps the pinch weld from folding over.

ryan roopnarine
05-26-2007, 05:43 PM
don, unless there is some big difference between the pickup on the e34 m50 oiling system and the e36 m50 oiling system (i know that the pans themselves are much different), run down to the dealership NOW and pick up the gasket that connects the pickup to the oil pump. you won't be able to get the pan off the car if it is the same as the e34 without disconnecting that tube. i've forgotten to buy one TWICE already.