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View Full Version : E34 rant/love ode



wingman
06-16-2006, 05:46 AM
Hey guys/gals,
It's been almost 12 months since I bought this beautiful car. I know that people comment on your cars. My mother-in-law always asks me about it. The usual comment is "How is your 'new' car going, apart from looking beautiful?" I've already related about the lass at work who says that my car is a '2nd base' car. "Not all the way but definately 2nd base!" What kind of comments do you get? We are trying to get BigKriss to advertise on RSVP that he drives an E34...

rob101
06-16-2006, 06:37 AM
What kind of comments do you get? We are trying to get BigKriss to advertise on RSVP that he drives an E34...
hehe, i think they are very good looking cars but you get alot of jealous looks from people. i think sometimes what will i get when my e34 gets too old as its utilised heavily (400 km per week just going to work and back) and has 245 000 km on it
sometimes i think about an e32 but i like the look of the e34 better:)
perhaps
M5? muhahahahaaaaaaa:p

Morgenster
06-16-2006, 08:49 AM
:D Mine gets some attention, albeit not always from the right kind of people and the police seem very interested since in our country it's stereotype for maffia car.
People I know ask me about it, but I think that might be because I keep talking about it ;) .

Gayle
06-16-2006, 06:02 PM
I've already related about the lass at work who says that my car is a '2nd base' car. "Not all the way but definately 2nd base!" What kind of comments do you get? We are trying to get BigKriss to advertise on RSVP that he drives an E34...


Here are some thoughts on the potential benefits or lack there-of that might come to Kristian from advertizing that he drives an e34.

Does your BMW help you score? (http://www.bimmer.info/forum/showthread.php?t=13029)

.

Blitzkrieg Bob
06-16-2006, 06:22 PM
I live in an area were BMW. Benz, etc only roam.

No old faded junker type cars allowed.

Plus my wife says my schwantz grew several inchs since I bought the car.

Randell
06-16-2006, 07:35 PM
i get a lot of **** for my car where i work, i'm a young guy in an office of old guys and my car is one of the hottest in the carpark :) only problem is i'm often in a different car because mine likes to break!

but when the same people that tell me to 'sell that heap of junk and get a barina' finally get into the passenger seat... there's just silence.. then after a few minutes driving i'll get random questions like 'so what year is this?' 'how much did you pay for it?'

it makes me laugh!

oh i have to add the best line though.. just after i got the car i was around the back of club bay view in claremont , which is a club for all the trendy rich kids in perth, and my girlfriend sees a friend of hers, who comes over to the passenger side and says 'whoa, what are you doing in THIS car?' , while at the same time stroking the door! if only she knew it was 12 years old and cost less than her corolla!

BigKriss
06-16-2006, 08:26 PM
I liked Pundit's comments on where he says (http://www.bimmer.info/forum/showthread.php?t=13029)"Seriously here in Oz most chicks (under 25) go for testosterone laden 19 year olds wearing baseball caps on backwards driving shitbox 15 year old Commodores (common GM made sedan) with 19" Chinese chrome rims, blue neon washer jets and a tailpipe an entire football team could disappear into. Oh yeah I nearly forgot the Doof, Doof! Okay it's stereotypical, because it is stereotypical. I think many Aussies will recognise that.

Though they're probably not the females our group would be interested in... because they probably rather be seen in a Commodore like the one above than an E34. While a blinged out 3 Series might just tempt them, they'd probably equate a 5 Series with middle aged dirty old men!"

I could not have said that comment better myself. I get comments like "is the car yours" and "how can you afford it". I haven't met many chicks who dig the car and secondly I don't talk much about the car in front of them / to them. I'm under the impression its seen as an old mans car and therefore it doesn't stick out of the crowd / is noticable. I actually went out on Friday night last week, to the excellesor hotel (spelling) at Surrey Hills. I met these two young chicks (19 and 20) with a mate of mine, the one I was talking to more (Madonna) was a catholic leb chick originally from Bankstown. As usuall I was very quiet. I just don't have stupid stuff to talk about. Anyway, so we watch a few live bands and Madonna's friend "Morgan", is going out with the guitarist of one of the bands. This was the first time I met them. Since I'm driving and not drinking, it was getting around 2am and we got back to Madonna's at Erkensville about 5-10 mins away, she invited us back there. The chicks liked the car and all, but they didn't say that much about it. We get to her place and she left her keys at work. So then we drive to St Lenards - about 20 mins away and get here car keys we drive back to Madonnas again and she cooks us some pasta. No BS, nothing happened at all , I didn't even get a phone number. I left around 4:00am and dropped off my mate and went home. I got nowhere.

This is were I am stuck. Most chicks are dumb and clueless with cars anyway, so what ever material I'll be giving them will go straight over their head anyway.

What is the base system anyway, I've heard of it before, but I'm not up to date.



I've already related about the lass at work who says that my car is a '2nd base' car. "Not all the way but definately 2nd base!" What kind of comments do you get? We are trying to get BigKriss to advertise on RSVP that he drives an E34...

Gayle
06-16-2006, 08:41 PM
What is the base system anyway, I've heard of it before, but I'm not up to date.

It is slang based on baseball. You can guess what a home run is.

Blitzkrieg Bob
06-16-2006, 11:45 PM
into home head first.

BigKriss
06-17-2006, 12:06 AM
Some RSVP fun. So I didn't hear back from this one chick for a while, so I sent here a message;

"What the hell is going on? You didnt get back to me and from where I'm standing, youre not gonna be in the top 100 anytime soon - dont miss the boat sweetheart!!!!!"

She was not too impressed. Its not that bad is it?

Airborne001
06-17-2006, 02:07 AM
Face it, if handled right, any BMW can be a genuine panty shucker, IF you know how to handle it.

We drive some of the most well built, most well thought out cars in the world. Now while most of us might be a little uncomfortable with talking all night about ourselves, most of us can talk a year or two about our cars.

READ THIS PART : CONFIDENCE = NOOKIE .

You don't have to get into a discussion with them about the aerodynamic peculiarities between the e28 and e34, but going on for a few minutes about how they are one of the best built cars in the world, and how you would probably never consider driving anything inferior to them, translates in the female mind that you have very good tastes, and lots of money.

DO NOT TELL THEM THEY CAN GET ONE FOR 8000 USD until they have panty hose handing in your shower and have taken over at least one drawer at your place.

I JUST bought a 1990 white 535i, in mint condition for 6900USD. Everyone in the neighborhood has been over here to look at it, and most are convinced I paid in the range of 40,000 for it. Who am I to tell them different?

This is my 3rd bimmer, and I can already see a difference in the way people are acting towards me, including my big boss. All of a sudden he wants to hang out and grab lunches, we usually end up taking my car.

Be proud of the car you drive, and let people know how proud you are of the car. It pays off.

632 Regal
06-17-2006, 02:25 AM
I think thats an awesome reply to someone that lost interest. shuts the door for you on her...unless she wants some...lol

Some RSVP fun. So I didn't hear back from this one chick for a while, so I sent here a message;

"What the hell is going on? You didnt get back to me and from where I'm standing, youre not gonna be in the top 100 anytime soon - dont miss the boat sweetheart!!!!!"

She was not too impressed. Its not that bad is it?

Morgenster
06-17-2006, 03:11 AM
I think thats an awesome reply to someone that lost interest. shuts the door for you on her...unless she wants some...lol

:D If the door wasn't shut it probably is now.

Russell
06-17-2006, 03:17 AM
No one pays the least bit of attention to an older BMW here in Lexington, KY. The city seems full of new BMWs, Mercedes, Volvos and the occasional Audi or Porsche. Even so, I do get a few looks when the car is cleaned and shinny. I rather like flying under the radar. Police seem to ignore the car. Stock appearing older car driven properly by an "adult" will create that perception.

calmloki
06-17-2006, 08:20 AM
I felt a bunch more special driving my '83 533i than I do driving the '93 touring. The black 533 5-spd felt like business while the touring feels like a MOR boring station wagon. With automatic. Oddly, my 16 nephew thinks the touring is cooler, and Sally enjoys cruising around in it as a passenger much more - she doesn't get flung about on fun stretches of road since i drive it like an old man. Thinking of rigging the turn signal to keep flashing "right" at all times to complete the image. Haven't noticed any haught gurls leering in the direction of the touring - with or without me enclosed.

KenB
06-17-2006, 09:18 AM
My GF loves my car, would be really po'd if I got rid of it. It still gets alot of "lookers" eyeballing it. Once they see the old fart driving it, they move on.:(

rob101
06-17-2006, 05:17 PM
I felt a bunch more special driving my '83 533i than I do driving the '93 touring. The black 533 5-spd felt like business while the touring feels like a MOR boring station wagon. With automatic. Oddly, my 16 nephew thinks the touring is cooler, and Sally enjoys cruising around in it as a passenger much more - she doesn't get flung about on fun stretches of road since i drive it like an old man. Thinking of rigging the turn signal to keep flashing "right" at all times to complete the image. Haven't noticed any haught gurls leering in the direction of the touring - with or without me enclosed.
i have a '82 528i (euro equivalent of the 533i) i must say it feels way quicker than my 525i so i can understand where you're coming from.

mattyb
06-17-2006, 06:25 PM
being a middle aged dirty old man is fine, just fine. the comments above are perfectly presented in that if you want some dopey little chick who s gonna be a pain in the butt getting her into the cot then a bling car is the go. But what you need is a chick that doesnt read girlfriend magazine anymore and understands that being put away aint about her havin the "power" its a bout having her guts full of nuts and enjoying the ride( right Gayle). so stop looking for Jennifer hawkins and the host of other little chickies cause thay all look pretty hot when they are young, you should be aiming for something a bit older, low kilometres in good condition with 1 or 2 previous owners and service history is not relevant. That way you know she will age gracefully and keep her looks. if they still have them at late 20s they usually keep them.

older ladies also give a true picture of their condition. Younf skinny things get fat quickly through their 20s if they are predisposed to weight gain. Theyll hook u and then get fat and then ur stuck with the cow. Love takes over from lust and that becomes your excuse for having a beached whale in your loungeroom for the rest of your life.

I cant beleive you met those girls, drove them home, they made u dinner at 2am and they werent kind or grateful enough for the lift to have offerred them selves to you in a dream like sexual frenzy which should have culminated in a porno movie ending of undescrible vulgarities and copious drowning in bodily fluids. was the pasta Good?

I would not even mention that you drive a BMW everyday on the dating sites ( soundslike you expecta prticular reaction) but perhaps have occasion to list in your hobbies or semi professional social activities that you race a BMW at eastern creek and wakefield and do a bit of trackwork just to keep your hand in the sport so to speak.

mattyb
06-17-2006, 06:28 PM
I think BigK should ask Fukem5 for some help with the chick thing. he is world famous for his abilities, but just like batman no body knows where he is, he just appears when help is needed.

Gayle
06-17-2006, 07:03 PM
But what you need is a chick that doesnt read girlfriend magazine anymore and understands that being put away aint about her havin the "power" its a bout having her guts full of nuts and enjoying the ride( right Gayle).



Mattyb

I wouldn't know. I still read girlfriend magazines.:)

rob101
06-17-2006, 08:57 PM
I think BigK should ask Fukem5 for some help with the chick thing. he is world famous for his abilities, but just like batman no body knows where he is, he just appears when help is needed.
he has a 3.0 CSL as well.
which miraculously doesn't rust in siberia he even parks it outside at his cane farm and still no rust!:)

DanDombrowski
06-17-2006, 09:42 PM
Now, seriously guys, if the girl is paying attention to the car, you've already failed in making her pay attention to YOU.

Girls don't really care about the E34. I get lots of nice comments about how great it looks in the parking lot from random people (sometimes including "for its age, sometimes not), but girls don't usually seem to notice.

I have to admit though, my GF does LOVE the E46...gonna make a convert out of her yet.

pundit
06-17-2006, 10:06 PM
he has a 3.0 CSL as well.
which miraculously doesn't rust in siberia he even parks it outside at his cane farm and still no rust!:)
Oh yeah... and you forget to mention the inflatable 'Ken Doll' he keeps in the trunk for those cold Siberian nights! ;)

Gayle
06-17-2006, 10:32 PM
Ok

I finally feel compelled to weigh in.

Girls look for clues as to what kind of person you are. I think we all do that--not just with the opposite sex. Every detail associated with you is a clue. Women look at how a guy dresses, how well groomed he is, to whether he appears fit, how he speaks as a clue to his intelligence and ability to communicate (communication is as important to women as sex is to men), how he treats people, and what he drives. Examples:


My husband claims he gets more respect when he is wearing his rolex. Guess it communicates money.


I certainly noticed that I got more respect from valet parkers when I arrived in my (former) clean e30 convertible with the top down than in my former lifted nissan truck with the oversized tires. Probably the former communicates higher class and the fact that it was older didn't detract from that.


My girlfriend is really into the guy she is currently dating because he treats his old dog so well and that says to her that he is a really good person.


My boss insists that we wear suits on the days we meet with clients or attorneys because it communicates professionalism

All of this is to say that we give off all kinds of clues about who we are and our choice of cars is one of them.

IMHO the choice of an e34 communicates taste and style and appreciation of sophistication in engineering. A stock e34 communicates a more traditional view on life whereas one with sexy mods communicates a racier side and a certain attention seeking aspect to your character (spoken by a person with an eisenmann muffler). Whether your car is clean or trashed communicates something about your respect for your possession and how organization you are and also about whether you are easy going or uptight. e34s have a stealth prestige factor. They don't bowl you over at first, but you quickly notice how nice, comfortable, and well made they are. (which makes my point about taste).

Do a lot of 20 year olds appreciate the values an e34 communicates. Probably not unless she is very mature. Do 30 year olds appreciate these values--probably yes because a 30 year old woman is probably ready to settle down and is thinking about a life partner.

BigKriss
06-17-2006, 11:11 PM
Good post Gayle. I don't have much else to add. I like reading other members opinions.

Nick.Hay
06-18-2006, 02:32 AM
The rumour was that I paid for my E34 by selling drugs!! The small-town mentality of my hometown meant that I had avisit form the local plods 'warning' me that they had reasonable sources, and that they 'head their eye on me!!'
Word spread, my Mum got very upset, it caused work problems etc Nastiness!!

This provoked me to seriously consider some custom license plates. Black letters on a white background "DEALER" Hmm... I never did it, tho I wish I had!!

As for the E34 being a chick-magnet?? Nope... Pundit's comments about grils liking GMH commodore driving lads is true. My E34 hasn't even be 'christened' yet!! :/

mattyb
06-18-2006, 04:04 AM
yeh i read them too. always interested to see whats in the sealed section.

mattyb
06-18-2006, 04:05 AM
maaaaaaate ! you must have something else to contribute

Alexlind123
06-18-2006, 08:16 AM
Maybe the e34 is a more masculine shape than some of the newer 3-series.

Gayle
06-18-2006, 08:27 AM
As for the E34 being a chick-magnet?? Nope... Pundit's comments about grils liking GMH commodore driving lads is true. My E34 hasn't even be 'christened' yet!! :/

Us non-Aussies need a visual. Please post a pic for us of the chick-magnet commodore.

I am old enough to vaguely remember American Motors having a model by that name before most forum members were born. American Motors is a synonym for POS so the name commodore has negative association for me and I just can't relate to it being a babe magnet.