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View Full Version : scariest/stupidiest design features of BMWs



rob101
05-10-2006, 01:26 AM
Driving my old boy 1982 528i to work on thursday and friday. she brings back good memories, my father has been driving her. anyway i was thinking about the crazy unguarded fan in it which makes you think twice about looking under the hood when the engine is on (its been made safe because the fan is red :p )and i was wondering what other weird design features other people (especially some of mechanics) have noticed on bmw's
the other one i can think of is the brake booster running off the power steering with a regulator and accumulator with some of the earlier bmws such as the early e32s and e28s.

pingu
05-10-2006, 02:34 AM
My E34 540 also has the brake booster running off the power steering. It nearly caught me out a treat when the water pump died and I had to limp home. Luckily (I thought) the brakes were still working... until the power assist was suddenly gone.

Russell
05-10-2006, 03:52 AM
E34 Micro filter location is one of the stupid designs. Weak Upper thrust arms is another. V8 engine problem, Plastic parts of the cooling system is another. Guess I could go on and on. Still love the car.

Nick.Hay
05-10-2006, 03:52 AM
Not to steal his thunder, but LUKE01's E34 (the black one in the pics in our post... see luke01 and nick.hays e34s) has the STRANGEST reverse-gear-engaged chime... Its like an icecream truck!! It plays tunes in the boot..er...trunk. Apparently sometimes its loud, sometimes its quite. Its just like our 'gong', but it plays a tune!!

His car was an import from japan... Geez, those Japs have some crazy ideas!!

Rob
05-10-2006, 09:29 AM
Lol! funniest thing I've heard all day. :D

joshua43214
05-10-2006, 11:48 AM
I-Drive is hands down winner in my book for dumbest thing BMW ever came up with.

After that EWS-II gets the award for least reliability when it needs work the most and being the most intermittant bug prone system.

mzarifkar
05-10-2006, 02:10 PM
The BMW jack. That God Da%$ Mother F%^&INg thing is the most unstable piece of junk, im suprised there is not a recall campaign on it. I should start one! anyone else agree?

Incantation
05-10-2006, 02:53 PM
only things i don't like about the e34 are:
-trunk is a biatch to get bass out of
- the starter motor sounds really gay (for 535 at least)

Alexlind123
05-10-2006, 03:03 PM
only things i don't like about the e34 are:
-trunk is a biatch to get bass out of
- the starter motor sounds really gay (for 535 at least)

It shows the quality of the trunk when its hard to get bass from it. These cars arent WRXesque milk carton cars.

pyro
05-10-2006, 03:07 PM
my 735i had a bell sound everytime you started it :)

Also i think that the door pannels are crap...

Alexlind123
05-10-2006, 03:13 PM
my 735i had a bell sound everytime you started it :)

Also i think that the door pannels are crap...

My door panels are fine after 15 years...dont you think thats "good enough"?

laguner
05-10-2006, 04:19 PM
It's not a safety issue but I absolutely hate the Velvet crap headliners they put in BMW's and other European makes. Saggy and scratch prone.

sKilled
05-10-2006, 04:22 PM
The LKM - what the f? Every now and then, the lights decide they want 20 minutes before they come on. I would drive with fogs, but I have no front bumper (still no time to fix it).

ttsalo
05-10-2006, 04:26 PM
Some of the factory stereo systems are very silly. Especially the Bavaria RDS Professional with the tuner-amplifier in the trunk. I finally ripped my head unit and amp out, and put some more modern stuff in, but had to run audio and antenna cables from the trunk to the dash. Fortunately that was easier than I thought. (No dash disassembly required if you sneak along the center console from under the rear seat).

Some of the interior is held on by clips and holders that are not meant to be removeable. The lower rear corner of the shock tower cover in the touring, for example, and some of the pillar covers.

SchnellE34
05-10-2006, 04:42 PM
All and all I don't find anything stupid about the e34. Some other models yes but not this one.

ThoreauHD
05-10-2006, 04:53 PM
I think the microfilter placement is stupid. Having to hang upside down and cut yourself every 15,000 miles isn't my idea of forward thinking. I think the rest of the car is pretty well thought out though. Maybe somebody can make a microfilter insert holder with a long handle that would make it easy to remove and replace. That would be nice. Very nice.

CharlesAFerg
05-10-2006, 04:57 PM
Um, probably those pistons that hold the trunk open...That's really about it lol...

OH, actually also the dumb$hit$ that think they can install stereos and alarms without making our E34s cry...

Blitzkrieg Bob
05-10-2006, 05:02 PM
to some of the other cars I have owned or worked on....I still love the BMW

mamilapon
05-10-2006, 05:10 PM
I changed the microfilter on an X5 last week ...took me 40 secs!!

Zeuk in Oz
05-10-2006, 05:28 PM
In early RHD manual E34s it has to be the position of the heater fan control "sword".

Almost impossible to get out around the clutch and brake pedals but absolutely impossible to get back in ! (without enlarging the hole :p )

Ross
05-10-2006, 07:14 PM
You have just descibed the first two weeks of ownership of my first E34

gale
05-10-2006, 07:28 PM
One of the dumbest in my opinion is the coolant reservoir level switch doesn't report when the level is low until AFTER the ignition is shut off. If you develop a coolant leak while driving, the temp needle has to go into the red & sound a chime before you have an inkling anything is wrong.

rob101
05-10-2006, 08:03 PM
oh yeah i forgot to mention the steering box and the exhaust position on RHD which necessitates the removal of 3 heatshields.
makes exhaust work fun

DaveVoorhis
05-10-2006, 08:24 PM
M20 oil filter location that guarantees multiple third-degree burns on your hands and an oil spill on the block and engine mount that drizzles down to form a slick the size of Texas on your driveway.

E34 530
05-10-2006, 08:50 PM
damn cupholders...

632 Regal
05-10-2006, 09:15 PM
that blows my 5 minutes all to hell!
I changed the microfilter on an X5 last week ...took me 40 secs!!

632 Regal
05-10-2006, 09:16 PM
i have to drop the cross bar every time i change the thrust arms out, what V8 problem besides the oil pump falling off?

E34 Micro filter location is one of the stupid designs. Weak Upper thrust arms is another. V8 engine problem, Plastic parts of the cooling system is another. Guess I could go on and on. Still love the car.

Jon K
05-10-2006, 09:34 PM
torque

onewhippedpuppy
05-11-2006, 07:03 AM
I can't bitch, if you've ever owned an American car or truck, nothing on a BMW compares in stupidity. I would vote for no cupholders and the fuzzy mouse hair headliner as being my least favorite E34 features.

mattyb
05-11-2006, 07:18 AM
no stubbie holder. expansion tank made of plastic but all the other great things just cancell them out really. goes with the territory.

Alexlind123
05-11-2006, 09:12 AM
torque

Torque?

Rob
05-11-2006, 09:16 AM
M20 oil filter location that guarantees multiple third-degree burns on your hands and an oil spill on the block and engine mount that drizzles down to form a slick the size of Texas on your driveway.

Changed mine last week. Had to remove battery and battery tray to get to it. 20 minutes later with no burns a little oil spill, I was done. ;)

azale
05-11-2006, 09:38 AM
They use a shear bolt on the interlock. You can try to loosen it with a drift punch and a sharp rap with a hammer straight down on the top ofthe nut, then turn it off with vise grips. Or cut a groove accross the top of it and use a screwdriver. Or drill the head off and lift the interlock off, then remove bolt with pliers.
More like a tapered shear bolt. What a pain. "Thank you sir; may I have another." Could've been a 5 minute job.

And what about the tiny screws that go up through the brackets to hold the far side of the intake manifold on the 525i. I tried with my dad for about 1 hr to get them back in. We lost both of them.

Anthony (M5 in Calgary)
05-11-2006, 10:47 AM
Torque?

Lack thereof.:)

Incantation
05-11-2006, 11:15 AM
thanks for pointing out the obvious

Robin-535im
05-11-2006, 01:44 PM
Um, probably those pistons that hold the trunk open...That's really about it lol...

What? Yours hold the trunk open? Mine didn't come with that feature. :)

NY535iManual
05-11-2006, 04:00 PM
I have concluded that the trunk lid slamming down on the back of my head is my car's unique and special way to give me a kiss.

Qube
05-11-2006, 04:15 PM
What? Yours hold the trunk open? Mine didn't come with that feature. :)

I finally replaced them with BRAND NEW ones weeks ago. I forgot to hold it open and it slammed on my girls head (she slipped out in time), and on my leg. Damn that hurt! She's fine and only got grazed.

Funny thing now the trunk not only stays open, but it wants to open PAST the point heh. Same thing with the hood. It's the sweetest thing when you don't need a piece of wood to hold it open.

Robin-535im
05-11-2006, 05:56 PM
I finally replaced them with BRAND NEW ones weeks ago. I forgot to hold it open and it slammed on my girls head (she slipped out in time), and on my leg. Damn that hurt! She's fine and only got grazed.


So what exactly were you and the fiancee doing in the trunk? E34's DO have a nice smooth back seat you know. ;)

BigTed00
05-11-2006, 06:05 PM
in my e36 there was a mess of cables running along the trunk arm. Each time the tunck was open or closed the wires would crimp and over time become frayed, causing a wide spectrum of electrical problems and in more then one case fires, sometimes engulfing the entire car. very poor design

DaveVoorhis
05-11-2006, 07:32 PM
M20 oil filter location that guarantees multiple third-degree burns on your hands and an oil spill on the block and engine mount that drizzles down to form a slick the size of Texas on your driveway.
Changed mine last week. Had to remove battery and battery tray to get to it. 20 minutes later with no burns a little oil spill, I was done. ;)

Ah yes. Thank you for reminding me. Revised edition:

M20 oil filter location that guarantees multiple third-degree burns on your hands and an oil spill on the block and engine mount that drizzles down to form a slick the size of Texas on your driveway, and requires you to remove the battery and battery tray to get to it.

The engineering department must have been letting the summer intern have a go.

Zeuk in Oz
05-11-2006, 08:17 PM
Ah yes. Thank you for reminding me. Revised edition:

M20 oil filter location that guarantees multiple third-degree burns on your hands and an oil spill on the block and engine mount that drizzles down to form a slick the size of Texas on your driveway, and requires you to remove the battery and battery tray to get to it.

The engineering department must have been letting the summer intern have a go.
I do mine from underneath - car up on ramps on hill so level.

Always end up with an arm covered in hot oil ! :(

rob101
05-11-2006, 10:31 PM
I do mine from underneath - car up on ramps on hill so level.

Always end up with an arm covered in hot oil ! :(
does the m20 have the same oil filter thing as the old m30, in which the cannister is removed, containing: oil and filter like a big cup?

MBXB
05-16-2006, 02:28 AM
In addition to all the other posts above:

1. Self destructing "recyclable' plastic parts: fan shroud, radiator return vent line come to mind;

2. Design of that PCV plate and it's accompanying tube in the M60 V8.

rob101
05-16-2006, 02:53 AM
i looked at my friends m20 who incidentally doesn't know where the filter is, as he doesn't believe engines need oil changes or some new age scientistic wisdom.
anyway where the hell is it? i couldn't see it at all!

DaveVoorhis
05-16-2006, 06:17 AM
i looked at my friends m20 who incidentally doesn't know where the filter is, as he doesn't believe engines need oil changes or some new age scientistic wisdom.
anyway where the hell is it? i couldn't see it at all!

It is only revealed to the Annointed Ones, whose power to See is beyond mortal ken...

It's under the exhaust manifold.

DaveVoorhis
05-16-2006, 06:20 AM
does the m20 have the same oil filter thing as the old m30, in which the cannister is removed, containing: oil and filter like a big cup?

No. It's a twist-on, (c'mon you farkin' tight bastard) twist-off jobbie.

Rob
05-16-2006, 06:58 AM
It's under the manifold and it twists on.

My hood and boot shocks have never been replaced. Same ones on the car when it was built in 1990. They both still hold up the boot and hood. :D

LAXman2205
05-16-2006, 08:04 AM
Replacing things under the hood because they are plastic......annoying, jus had to replace the whole coolant resovoir cause the plastic piece connecting the bottom hose just crumbled. Also the door panels starting to come off, glue got old too I guess....ugh

Rob
05-16-2006, 08:06 AM
The fan clutch is another thing I don't like. Okay great idea, but why make something that will eventually **** out, when you didn't have to have it in the car in the first place?

BFEINZIMER
11-28-2006, 03:11 PM
E34's DO have a nice smooth back seat you know. ;)
Yes, they do heh heh..

markus
11-28-2006, 03:45 PM
oonly one door panel in my car is falling apart and it looks like nothing some gorilla glue and an afternoon cant fix.

E34-520iSE
11-28-2006, 03:56 PM
The BMW jack. That God Da%$ Mother F%^&INg thing is the most unstable piece of junk, im suprised there is not a recall campaign on it. I should start one! anyone else agree?
It's not a jack, it's a door denting machine - throw it away!

spyrot1
11-28-2006, 04:01 PM
How about the driver's seat power headrest cable? Couldn't they have made it just a little longer?

Penny pinching at it's best!

Michael999
11-28-2006, 04:26 PM
The heater system is silly, every other car ive been in manages to orchestrate it so that there is flow to the heater core without needing a pump.

Glovebox hinge/support design is garbage.

The Bigfella
11-28-2006, 04:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robin-535im
E34's DO have a nice smooth back seat you know.


Yes, they do heh heh..

Not in my 1990 M5. I might have tried it in there when I was 20 - but its pretty squeezy with that breadbasket in the way.

Anthony (M5 in Calgary)
11-28-2006, 04:38 PM
Not in my 1990 M5. I might have tried it in there when I was 20 - but its pretty squeezy with that breadbasket in the way.

I knew there was a reason not to be jealous of that seat configuration. ;)

Yiorgos
11-28-2006, 04:40 PM
My hood and boot shocks have never been replaced. Same ones on the car when it was built in 1990. They both still hold up the boot and hood. :D

At least you have boot shocks, mine is just the metal hinge that won't stay put unless the car is on level ground and the lid open to its 90 degree angle.

markus
11-28-2006, 04:57 PM
I agree. I used to work on chrysler and jeeps and they sure as hell were not the pinnacle of servicing. The cab foreward design on the mid-90s to early 00s chryslers makes just about everything impossible to reach.

The worst design I think was on the 3.5 litre V6 oil filter location on the LHS. If you think the M20s are bad then you obviously have no idea how bad this is. Its a round wide filter which is hard to get a grip on smudged between the front subframe and a CV joint under a header. To this day I refuse to work on any american car unless its my buddy's 1940 oldmobile I helped him restore. American cars are NOT desgined to be worked on. Oh and valve cover gaskets on a 1997 sebring which requires taking off the intake manifold to get to the back spark plugs and valve cover. Ugh, just talking about this garbage makes me upset. Come to think of it, V8 engine mounts were a lot easier than working on those chrysler pieces of ****.

MagicMike
11-28-2006, 05:48 PM
M20 oil filter location that guarantees multiple third-degree burns on your hands and an oil spill on the block and engine mount that drizzles down to form a slick the size of Texas on your driveway.

That is very accurate. Out of all my Bimmers, I hate changing the oil on my 2 e30's with the M20 motors.

takumidrift30
11-28-2006, 06:07 PM
It's not a jack, it's a door denting machine - throw it away!
hell yeah! had dents on my 535 and 525 because of that piece junk, tough it was my cousin who put a dent on the other car but it is still because of the jack. I don't use them anymore.

swenpro
11-28-2006, 06:48 PM
The throttle cable! I always wondered why my accelerator was heavy... then the other night when I accelerated hard on the highway, it stuck!! When I finally pulled the throttle (bowden) cable out, I saw that the wire had completely sawed through that very sharp bend in the cable (reinforced by metal) where it goes through the firewall! With the new cable acceleration is MUCH easier and smoother. Looks like a design flaw to me, though... being only after 100k mi.

Also... the engine cover brackets! Only germans would engineer such complicated little pieces costing $13 each that are not just a simple piece of metal, but two pieces cushioned by a rubber cube, which consequently hardens and falls off. I now have no original brackets still intact.

///Sniper535
11-28-2006, 06:51 PM
only things i don't like about the e34 are:
-trunk is a biatch to get bass out of
- the starter motor sounds really gay (for 535 at least)

is that the little electric motor reving sound I hear when i start the car?

chiefcorey
11-28-2006, 07:21 PM
You have just descibed the first two weeks of ownership of my first E34

My first two weeks too!!! UGH. That, and the engine mounts which are impossible to do yourself.

Digita1 Ecstasy
11-28-2006, 07:46 PM
I have concluded that the trunk lid slamming down on the back of my head is my car's unique and special way to give me a kiss.

****. I hate that too.


Also, Traction control. I mean, who's dumb idea was that.

Yiorgos
11-28-2006, 08:19 PM
At least you have boot shocks, mine is just the metal hinge that won't stay put unless the car is on level ground and the lid open to its 90 degree angle.

I take that back actually, I just checked now and of course I have gas struts for my bootlid.

/me slaps his head repeatedly with a hot clothes iron

BMWCCA1
11-28-2006, 08:21 PM
Also, Traction control. I mean, who's dumb idea was that.Well, if you're talking about the v.1 ASC on your year/model, I'd have to agree, but it was quite revolutionary at the time, even if it did take a full revolution of the wheel to determine if it was slipping and then could only modulate the throttle in an attempt to stop it. ASC+T was an improvement. Of course you can always turn it off! I think I'd rather have it if I lived in Southern Illinois (I grew up in St. Louis.) I know I like it in Virginia. Of course adding limited slip would give you the best of both worlds, but then yours has it, doesn't it?

Jon K
11-28-2006, 08:59 PM
Scariest design is that they left enough room in an E34 M50 car to put a giant truck turbo where the washer fluid used to go :)

Digita1 Ecstasy
11-28-2006, 10:29 PM
Well, if you're talking about the v.1 ASC on your year/model, I'd have to agree, but it was quite revolutionary at the time, even if it did take a full revolution of the wheel to determine if it was slipping and then could only modulate the throttle in an attempt to stop it. ASC+T was an improvement. Of course you can always turn it off! I think I'd rather have it if I lived in Southern Illinois (I grew up in St. Louis.) I know I like it in Virginia. Of course adding limited slip would give you the best of both worlds, but then yours has it, doesn't it?

Well, when you mean 'modulate' it must be so mininal its unnoticable. I've only had my E34 for about a month, took it to a few events, felt no loss in power. Pretty sure I don't have it. Though I'm not sure, I was a porsche gear head until I inherited an E30. Still learning new stuff about my car everyday. I was more talking about the traction control on my friends E36. It's so pointless. Also, I think its dangerous to simply "switch" off TCS because in his car even if switched off, if the tires are spinning for prolonged amounts of time, it re-engages, imagine that happening during a high speed power slide. Uh oh.

Blitzkrieg Bob
11-28-2006, 11:43 PM
a very valid concern for women.

when you use they key to unlock the driver's door, all doors unlock.

Women don't like this cause it provides an opportunity for uninvited guests to enter.

BFEINZIMER
11-29-2006, 01:31 AM
a very valid concern for women.

when you use they key to unlock the driver's door, all doors unlock.

Women don't like this cause it provides an opportunity for uninvited guests to enter.
women driving? hahahahhahahahahhahahahahaha

jk ;)

632 Regal
11-29-2006, 01:34 AM
I have to agree with this concern, there is also no way to change it.

VERY VALID POINT, wonder if anyone has a work around cause Id like one.


a very valid concern for women.

when you use they key to unlock the driver's door, all doors unlock.

Women don't like this cause it provides an opportunity for uninvited guests to enter.

Paul in NZ
11-29-2006, 01:39 AM
youre all a pack of pussies...be aware our cars can now be classifiied as old peices of ****.They were designed at least 20 years ago.Get a life and go for a drive!I have new found respect for the old girl,just this minute come back from my mumshouse,550 km away,i deliberatley sought out as many secondary roads as i could.I tell ya these cars are awesome,on one hand I have a cruisy smooth quiet limousine,the next shes singing at 5000 rpm in third on a bumpy uphill sweeper,the rear end slowly stepping out over the bumps,shift up to fourth immediately comesback into line the m30 is brutal,and silky smooth at the same time,i wouldnt change a thing,even the weird brake tourque rod that goes from the rhs of a rhd drive over to the master cylingder on the lhs.:0,:):)

Blitzkrieg Bob
11-29-2006, 01:44 AM
women driving? hahahahhahahahahhahahahahaha

jk ;)



Just look for the driver with the left turn signal on for miles, talking on the call phone, reaching back over the seat to slap a kid or passing a baby bottle, putting makeup on in the rear view mirror-and ..with that eye lashe clampy thing too...ohh scary, how the hell do they do that?!

Chances are it's a woman driving

94_e34_525i
11-29-2006, 02:06 AM
The dumbest thing I think BMW did is made a 518i, 4000 Lbs with a healthy 138 hp wow thats going zero to 60 when it gets there, As well as the M20 and M50, I think are too underpowered, all though the EAT Chip reguvinated my M50TU! Damn its halfway decent now.

mattyb
11-29-2006, 02:26 AM
i still say stubby holders!

Blitzkrieg Bob
11-29-2006, 02:47 AM
The dumbest thing I think BMW did is made a 518i, 4000 Lbs with a healthy 138 hp wow thats going zero to 60 when it gets there, As well as the M20 and M50, I think are too underpowered, all though the EAT Chip reguvinated my M50TU! Damn its halfway decent now.

just trying to drive to work or other locations in the "car" as was intended...then the old 518, 520, M20 & M50 would suit just fine..(my OBC tells me 24 average MPH)...But...there are those who think each venture from the driveway should be a new qualifying lap for "poll position" and squeeze out their M20 & M50 thinking they can compete with a 2006 M5 at the yeild sign at the on ramp.

Yiorgos
11-29-2006, 02:58 AM
i still say stubby holders!

Agreed, this would be a huge win for me if BMW did this.

BillionPa
11-29-2006, 03:12 AM
one word.

Rust.

Randell
11-29-2006, 03:24 AM
i don't think i saw a mention of the appalling door brakes on these cars.. you know, the ones that rip into the door skin? my passenger door was so bad i had to drill the damn thing out, now the door swings closed on my passengers at the same time as the seat belt refuses to retract, sure leaves the impression of a quality car ;)

apart from that, the OBC display under the gauges needing to be turned on every time you start the car is silly

Dash01
11-29-2006, 03:37 AM
I'm not totally in love with the combination of the 36mm nut on the front of the crankshaft being installed with 317 ft. lbs. of torque + Locktite, then having no easy way to secure the crankshaft so you can remove the nut.

jbourke
11-29-2006, 04:06 AM
- Recirculating ball instead of rack & pinion steering
- cooling system design with aux pump and plastic impeller in waterpump
- HVAC complicated and error prone
- underengineered front end including (standard) brakes

SnakeyesTx
11-29-2006, 12:03 PM
(Tried to leave out the obvious and already posted ones)

-AC compressor so close to the exhaust manifolds

-Plastic water pump pulley on the M50

-No Auto Trans Dipstick!

-Glove box latches

-Central Lock! Seriously, its not bad, but atleast have a lock/unlock button in the door instead of using the actual lock peg sticking out of the door.

-Seat adjuster cables (those of you with seat twist and non-functional headrests, I sympathize)

-Window regulator clips


I think the most annoying for me aside from no cupholders would be ....

-Uncomfortable to drive long distances (wait, follow me here). The door panel is just a hair too high to put your elbow up there (I'm 6'1"), and the armrest on the door panel is just a bit too low. Additionally, the way that armrest is designed, it HURTS to leave your elbow on it too long. Its flat, and so stiff and unforgiving, kinda like putting your hands in the holes of the steering wheel on either side of the air bag. This is actually the first car I've driven that beats you up driving it long distances. Even my 1941 Buick coupe with manual steering and a stainless steel/bakelite steering wheel didn't beat me up this bad. Atleast the armrests were padded!

I'll probably end up putting a silicone keyboard wrist rest on there and upholstering on top of that for a stock-looking, but cushioned armrest.

attack eagle
11-29-2006, 01:38 PM
The BMW jack. That God Da%$ Mother F%^&INg thing is the most unstable piece of junk, im suprised there is not a recall campaign on it. I should start one! anyone else agree?
What you never owned a british car?
now the LUGNUT wrench... that is a POS...

AS was the bright Idea on the tourings of having the wiring make a big U under the glass so it will metal fatigue, or the glass struts that go back inside the body, instead of being part of the hatch.

The M20 sounds like a breeze compared to the wife's 92 SL2... the filter is right above the passenger CV joint.

Procedure : put car on ramps, wiggle like a contorsionist to get arm up and around suspension bits... start spinning off filter... enjoy the nice warm oil as it runs down your arm to about the shoulder. Pour Kitty litter on ramp before moving car, roll car down and pour on ground, hose off suspension, grab Palmolive dish soap and strip to the waist to your torso and arm in front of the house so you can even try and open the door to go inside and say you are done.

yy101
11-29-2006, 03:49 PM
After reading 9 pages of posts...i cant but help notice a couple of things:

Most of you complain about simple and mundane things...ergonomics and why they didnt do this and should do this instead, or how this is a bad design and why they didnt design it better. If anyone of you can go back in time to the early-mid eighties, which is the most likely time the design of the E34 would have started since the e34 first appeared in 88 (correct me if I am wrong), and spoke to the "team" of engineers that designed the e34, i think a lot of the questions would be answered.

Each engineer and/or designer has their own design ethos/traits, and we are probably seeing those bias passed onto the e34. And lets not forget the bean counters, ultimately its them that decides whether you can have your cup holders or not, not the engineer or designer!!!

Try not to look at these cars through 21st century tinted lenses, these cars are designed in the 80s for the 90s, 20/20 hindsight is only available to those working in a plant/equipment yard for a major construction company cooked up inside a 6x6' office all day summarizing crane manuals and bored enough to start a topic like this :p (here's one back at ya rob101! Lol, see ya back at Briz Vegas this weekend dude).

None of the complaints have been anything that is major like a tranny falling off in the freeway, or how your first major breakdown was within 3 months and/or within the first 10k miles of purchasing it new (anyone owned their e34 from new on this forum btw, I would like to hear their opinion)?. Now if you go onto a Ford or GM forum...thats another story.

These cars are almost 20yrs old, something is bound to go wrong or break (almost a human generation, probably a lot more in motor vehicle speak).

I have only owned my 540i for a little over 4mths, in that time I have had my share of traumas that are normal with 11yo cars, and also wondered why I have to put up with engineering brain explosions ie. impossible to reach trunk boot lid gas struts mountings, and tamper proof T* type screws (who would want to open your hood and steal your aux water pump???).

But who knows, maybe the average BMW engineer was designing the e34 for the average deustch volks, and they happen to have longer arms, and maybe back in the 80s the hottest item to jack from a car is a 12v electrical motor under the bonnet.

For me, I am never going back to sheeple cars (ie. Toyotas, Holdens, Fords), or anything Citeron (you will know this one rob101, remember bris motor show back in 05?). Now I am just waiting for my income to catch up to my aspirations lol...hmm 745i. But I will settle for a late model e39 540i first.

Yiorgos
11-29-2006, 04:33 PM
Well said yy101!

I suppose that really says something about our cars -- most of the things that we are complaining about a car that's at least 11 years old and mostly older, are little things like lack of cup holders, or weird gas struts in the trunk, or the position of arm rests.

There is no such thing as the perfect car, but if the E34 only has a few minor problems, then surely it would be very close to one.

EDIT: Awesome E34 in your signature by the way, and you should photoshop the photo time stamp and barbed wire in the bottom right corner of the pic of the 2002. Also I enjoy a dig at rob101, good job :D

attack eagle
11-29-2006, 06:02 PM
Well the cupholders is easy to understand. If it's illegal to eat and drive or to drink a beverage and drive, why install integrated cupholders in all of your cars for all over the world? Just offer em as an accessory in the US.

That'd be like putting a Visible from driver's seat while in motion DVD player in every car youmake for the entire world, just so those customers in the markets where it isn't illegal can have them. And relying on driver self restraint where it is illegal to not use them so you aren't sued for an accident.

yy101
11-29-2006, 08:04 PM
Attack Eagle:

You have a valid point, however like I said the people who called the shots arent not engineers/designers or humanist concerned about the safety of the average joe. The accountants/lawyers decide whether the cup holder comes standard or as an accessory based on this simple formula: Cost of fixing something wrong vs the "possible" cost of not fixing it.

The folks at BM must have worked out that on the off chance that a fatal accident occuring due to a driver using the cup holder in a country where it is illegal to do so is so, and then taking court action, and fighting it for 2-5yrs, and actually winning, and then get compo payout, which will be reduced significantly by appeal, does not stack up against the cost of offering two types of vehicles.

Yiorgos:

Not sure what the fuss is with covering number plates and dates on photos posted on the internet, can you clue me in? That photo is taken at the TNT depot in Adelaide when I picked it up in June, ready for transport to Qld.

Yiorgos
11-29-2006, 08:09 PM
Not sure what the fuss is with covering number plates and dates on photos posted on the internet, can you clue me in? That photo is taken at the TNT depot in Adelaide when I picked it up in June, ready for transport to Qld.

It looks neater. Everything else in that photo looks great (no need to cover up the number plates on the car), the asphalt that the car is sitting on is nice and even, then you see a mess of barbed wire and some sort of date in the lower right corner.

Dont know about you, but for me that ruins a really nice picture. Just my 2c.

Ross
11-29-2006, 09:00 PM
How about four (head) bolts per cylinder?
Anyone care to guess my current Bimmer project?

94_e34_525i
11-30-2006, 01:35 AM
just trying to drive to work or other locations in the "car" as was intended...then the old 518, 520, M20 & M50 would suit just fine..(my OBC tells me 24 average MPH)...But...there are those who think each venture from the driveway should be a new qualifying lap for "poll position" and squeeze out their M20 & M50 thinking they can compete with a 2006 M5 at the yeild sign at the on ramp.

If I wanted cheap transportation I sure as hell would not have bought a BMW, just the maintnance cost alone can get me a cheap car:D!

JerseySi
11-30-2006, 02:00 AM
Design faults/bad things about the E34?

Hmmmm... tough call - all the niggly little things (with both mine at any rate) are down to old age/previous owners not being 100% on servicing etc.. Infact I find the E34 very very easy to work on & maintain, and live with from day-to-day, certainly much better than any non-bmw I've owned..

I think the only 'proper' design flaw I've encountered or heard about is the 4HP-22 gearbox - seems a very fragile gearbox for such a great drivers car..
Having said that, a lot of autoboxes don't take kindly to over-revving/harsh treatment anyway, so it could still be worse..

Only other thing would perhaps be the front suspension - yea, little bit weedy for such a big car - but then my front bushes are only just starting to get loose after 18 years/68,000 miles of piss-poor roads so again - no major issue really!

Wrighty525isport
02-09-2007, 03:28 PM
hell yeah! had dents on my 535 and 525 because of that piece junk, tough it was my cousin who put a dent on the other car but it is still because of the jack. I don't use them anymore.

Wow, so this is common then... i was gutted when dented the door on my first e34. the only dent on it was down to me :(

I agree, totally crap design. . . .

E34-520iSE
02-09-2007, 04:36 PM
Wow, so this is common then... i was gutted when dented the door on my first e34. the only dent on it was down to me :(

I agree, totally crap design. . . .
Yeah, apart from the poxy jack, the other thing that annoys me constantly is the handbrake system. I mean, there's no self adjusting system on there. I bet that even Fred Flintstones' car had a self adjusting handbrake installed.

Cheers,

Shaun M

attack eagle
02-09-2007, 06:58 PM
oh come on... i used to have to adjust REAL brakes by hand.
How are you wearing out your handbrake shoes enough to even bother needing an adjustment?

Alexlind123
02-09-2007, 08:25 PM
oh come on... i used to have to adjust REAL brakes by hand.
How are you wearing out your handbrake shoes enough to even bother needing an adjustment?

Its for the mad tite driftz yo!

BimmerMeUp
02-09-2007, 08:41 PM
In order to change the front turn signal light bulbs on my wife's X5, you have to pull out the entire headlight assembly. You gotta be extra careful when you do it so you don't loose a screw somewhere down in the bumper, scratch the finish on the top portion of the bumper, break the lower trim piece attached to the lamps or put the headlights back slightly out of alignment.......

califblue
02-09-2007, 09:00 PM
you guys complain to much...the worst part is when I park my car anywhere and come back there is all these hot chick standing around it wating to get in the back seat;)

I mean whats a MAN suppose to do:p

JoshsE34-M50
02-09-2007, 09:13 PM
You gotta love those constant issues with the wipers. Hitting the hood, loosening on the center shafts, breaking plastic covers (you can't even buy the cover for the driver's side). Oh well, every car has some little issue like that. Took some fiddling to get mine right finally...

bsell
02-11-2007, 03:12 PM
You gotta love those constant issues with the wipers. Hitting the hood, loosening on the center shafts, breaking plastic covers (you can't even buy the cover for the driver's side). Oh well, every car has some little issue like that. Took some fiddling to get mine right finally...

What?! The wipers arms hit the hood? I thought that was a built-in speed alarm. Mine goes off around 130kph or so. As I live in Germany now, that kind of sucks the big one since I can cruise legally at 160+!

Now how do I fix this other than raise the rear of the hood?:(

JMI
02-11-2007, 05:45 PM
1) Plastic parts of cooling system
2) Mickey Mouse wiper speed control
3) Mickey Mouse driverside window auto control

There is more but that is a start

Alexlind123
02-11-2007, 05:57 PM
1) Plastic parts of cooling system
2) Mickey Mouse wiper speed control
3) Mickey Mouse driverside window auto control

There is more but that is a start

I guess my initials are M.M. then...