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View Full Version : How do you stop these F#*@heads from keying your car?



mancini_mark
03-16-2004, 09:57 AM
Hi folks,

My car got keyed again. How can I ever stop this? I wish I could run a current through the body panels so that they would **** their pants whenever they touch the car. Luckily, the car was in a secure parking lot with closed circuit cameras. Security is now reviewing the tapes. Lets hope we catch the perpetrator.

May the BMW gods have mercy on him...not bloody likely

Mark

jplacson
03-16-2004, 10:14 AM
Actually, a few 'spy' shops do sell a security system like what James Bond had on his 750il (hmmm... even James Bond can't stop jeolous vandals!)

It's basically a souped up stun gun wired to the bodyshell of the car... although a more common setup is wired to the door handles.

I lost the link when my PC crashed a few months ago, but I remember the price tag was something like US$7000 or so for the basic kit.

The other system is to prevent car jacking. It's available in South America. It consists of 2 propane flame throwers mounted under each side. If anyone tries to open the locked doors or threatens the driver with a gun, the driver can activate both flame throwers instantly.

The main problem with an electrical discharge security system is that it must be well designed otherwise you stand to fry all your electronics with the EM field.

Or, you can hire a bouncer to stand beside your car! hehehe.

mancini_mark
03-16-2004, 10:20 AM
Sweet!!!

Elekta
03-16-2004, 10:45 AM
Take the Bush Cheney 04 sticker off the rear bumper... ;)

The perception from car keying punks is that only rich liberals can drive bmw's in my town, so unless you've got a rainbow or a Peta sticker you wont get a pass from the car keying caffiene freaks. Kinda a bizarro repo-man world goes on south of the river every first thursday in austin...which is where I got keyed, and I only had a support our troops sticker and an american flag. lookin at $300 in sanding, touchup, clear coat and mguires for the port side

jplacson
03-16-2004, 10:49 AM
HAHAHA!!! That's funny!

Derek A.
03-16-2004, 04:20 PM
I always thought it was a cool idea to make a psudo dynamite bomb. Some paper towel tubes painted red, electrical tape. Throw in some model train wiring and some flashing leds from radio shack. Will keep most people away from your car.. :)

Warren N.CA
03-16-2004, 04:36 PM
Sounds like it might be.



Hi folks,

My car got keyed again. How can I ever stop this? I wish I could run a current through the body panels so that they would **** their pants whenever they touch the car. Luckily, the car was in a secure parking lot with closed circuit cameras. Security is now reviewing the tapes. Lets hope we catch the perpetrator.

May the BMW gods have mercy on him...not bloody likely

Mark

G Feller
03-16-2004, 04:38 PM
A nice idea, but these days it is best to keep it in your head.


I always thought it was a cool idea to make a psudo dynamite bomb. Some paper towel tubes painted red, electrical tape. Throw in some model train wiring and some flashing leds from radio shack. Will keep most people away from your car.. :)

BigD
03-16-2004, 07:06 PM
Apparently in South Africa, car theft is so bad that they passed a law a while back which allows motorists to defend themselves. It got so bad in fact that they wouldn't even bother breaking into your car, they'd just jack it as you're pulling in. I saw this on TLC I think. They showed one guy with a white E30 that had flame throwers setup on each side of the car that would fry anything within a meter of the door and blow as wide as the door, and about 6' high.

The only catch with the law is that if the guy dies, you go to jail for manslaughter. Otherwise you're completely off the hook. So you can fry, slice and dice him...but you best make sure he lives.

kiNGMak
03-16-2004, 07:12 PM
You can hire me to sit and watch your car.. when the bastards come by your car i will spring into action.. kicking their asses.. breaking their knees.. fingers.. toes.. and then before i put them out of their misery.. i whisper your name into their ears.. and then pour gas into their eyes so that they can think about thier actions.. then.. take em to the land fill and let the tractors work em over :)

Unregistered
03-16-2004, 07:34 PM
here yah go!! this should be effective!!

check out the quicktime video:

http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/africa/9812/11/flame.thrower.car/




Apparently in South Africa, car theft is so bad that they passed a law a while back which allows motorists to defend themselves. It got so bad in fact that they wouldn't even bother breaking into your car, they'd just jack it as you're pulling in. I saw this on TLC I think. They showed one guy with a white E30 that had flame throwers setup on each side of the car that would fry anything within a meter of the door and blow as wide as the door, and about 6' high.

The only catch with the law is that if the guy dies, you go to jail for manslaughter. Otherwise you're completely off the hook. So you can fry, slice and dice him...but you best make sure he lives.

joshuagore
03-16-2004, 07:35 PM
Baseball Bat.

Sit in the trunk of your car, with something over your head, and wait all day.

They are most likely theives who were pissed they couldnt break in easily.

BigD
03-16-2004, 07:37 PM
I was hoping I wouldn't have to be the one to post this. But ok, here you go:

Big Black Guy Named Ben (http://uploads.ungrounded.net/2000/2137_Bbgnb.swf)

632 Regal
03-16-2004, 10:39 PM
I was hoping I wouldn't have to be the one to post this. But ok, here you go:

Big Black Guy Named Ben (http://uploads.ungrounded.net/2000/2137_Bbgnb.swf)

mancini_mark
03-16-2004, 10:47 PM
I wish I could beat the snot out of this arse. I actually think I know who it is, but I'm waiting for video confirmation from security. Then I will make his life miserable by pressing criminal charges and taking him to small claims court to wring the cash out of him. If I only knew where he parks his car...no just kidding. I have to keep my hands clean. But I'll look the other way if something were to happen ;)

Mark

winfred
03-16-2004, 11:19 PM
oh let me count the ways
http://members.cox.net/kitlou/bullets
outright evel would the buckshot, 45/70 405g hollowpoint, 44mag, 44spl and 357mag, i can cook up some nasty 44 and 357, i got some smoking 9mm too. then theres the 7.62x39 and 7.62x54 russian goodies, .17hmr can be fun, i nicnamed it the flying blender with the ballistic tips, it's small but it's fast 2600 fps from a 21" barrel

e34
03-17-2004, 01:08 AM
All u need is a .50 desert eagle or a 12 gauge, and do a little bit of hunting. Make shure u shoot them below the waist, its not considered murder. LOL (just a joke do not attempt)

jplacson
03-17-2004, 01:25 AM
Just remove 'oxy' and you've got the guys who run the parking lot!

Robbo
03-17-2004, 04:00 AM
Had my old E28 keyed, the guy had a history of mental illness so the police did nothing - he had keyed most of the cars in the locality.

The thing is, he lived across the road from me and I knew him slightly - he did have a problem and could barely look after himself - what could I do?

It was (in this case) a cry for help. I believe that he should have been in a care home.

jplacson
03-17-2004, 06:43 AM
Buy a dog... a German dog..with really big teeth. hehehe... get the BMW universal back seat protector then tell your dog to stay there... leave a window open. hehehehe. Just don't park under the sun. :lol:

dca
03-17-2004, 08:01 AM
scratch your own car,then you will never care it again :)

mancini_mark
03-17-2004, 12:29 PM
Yup,

My hunch is it's my neighbour. He's been verbally assaulting his significant other and I felt I had a duty to report it.

632 Regal
03-17-2004, 12:38 PM
does he leave for work in the dark? I think a nice scrap of paneling with a few wood screws that mysteriously blew it into his drive path is in order. Use gloves...how does he know you called?