632 Regal
02-26-2004, 12:58 PM
A good-OLE-boy staggered home late after another evening with his
drinking buddies. Shoes in left hand to avoid waking his wife, he
tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs
bedroom,
but misjudged the bottom step in the darkened entryway. As he caught
himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed
heavily on
his rump.
A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing
especially painful. Managing to suppress a yelp, he sprung up,
pulled down his pants and examined his lacerated and bleeding cheeks
in the mirror of a nearby darkened hallway, then managed
to find a large full box of band aids before proceeding to place a
patch as best he could on each place he saw blood.
After hiding the now almost empty box, he
managed to shuffle and stumble his way to bed.
Morning, he awakens with screaming pain in head and butt to find his
wife staring at him from across the room, and hears her say:
"You were drunk again last night!!!"
Forcing himself to ignore his agony, he looked meekly at her and
replied: "Now Hon, why would you say such a mean thing?"
"Well," she said, "there is the front door left open, the glass at the
bottom of the stairs, the drops of blood trailing through the house,
and your bloodshot eyes but, mostly.....it's all those band aids stuck
on the downstairs mirror!"
drinking buddies. Shoes in left hand to avoid waking his wife, he
tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs
bedroom,
but misjudged the bottom step in the darkened entryway. As he caught
himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed
heavily on
his rump.
A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing
especially painful. Managing to suppress a yelp, he sprung up,
pulled down his pants and examined his lacerated and bleeding cheeks
in the mirror of a nearby darkened hallway, then managed
to find a large full box of band aids before proceeding to place a
patch as best he could on each place he saw blood.
After hiding the now almost empty box, he
managed to shuffle and stumble his way to bed.
Morning, he awakens with screaming pain in head and butt to find his
wife staring at him from across the room, and hears her say:
"You were drunk again last night!!!"
Forcing himself to ignore his agony, he looked meekly at her and
replied: "Now Hon, why would you say such a mean thing?"
"Well," she said, "there is the front door left open, the glass at the
bottom of the stairs, the drops of blood trailing through the house,
and your bloodshot eyes but, mostly.....it's all those band aids stuck
on the downstairs mirror!"