Need a separate forum for OT items and Winfred's jokes, pics

[MarkD]

Hi Ilya and Ed,
are you planning on making a separate forum for OT items? I think Winfred doesn't know where to post jokes now.

Here's some OT news I found:

Whale explodes
29jan04

TAIPEI -- A dead sperm whale being transported through Tainan City suddenly exploded yesterday, splattering cars and shops with blood and guts.
:goldfish:
The 17m, 45-tonne carcass was being taken on a flat-bed trailer-truck for an autopsy.
"Because of the natural decomposing process, a lot of gases accumulated, and when the pressure build-up was too great, the whale's belly just exploded," marine biologist Professor Wang Chien-ping said.

[bahnstormer]

whale rules ! i saw that

[winfred]

It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar? Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like pure Almond Joy! I couldn't help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that this little Twix had the Red Hots. It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream Oh Henry, Oh Henry! Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn't be long before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her a taste of the old Milky Way. She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said, Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff. I said, Look you little Reese's Pieces, don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don't you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit 'O' Honey? (What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!) She screamed, Oh Crackerjack, better than the Three Musketeers! as I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup. Well, I was giving it to her Good 'N' Plenty, when all the sudden... my Starburst! Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a Wrigley in her stomach. Sure enough, nine months later, out popped? Baby Ruth!

[rickm]

Redneck Barbie
She's larger and meaner than them other prissy, stuck-up, think-thur-
better'n-you Barbies. Now every girl can live the fantasy of ignorance and
poverty with her special trailer park friend.

Every Redneck Barbie comes complete with:
-Two packs of Marlboro Lights for Barbie's smoking pleasure!
-A six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer (It's on sale!) to refresh Barbie
during her busy day of bitching and watching TV.
-Stylish, every occasion Spandex pants, halter top and sandals. Hot pants
or blue jean cut-offs may be substituted on dolls shipped to Southern USA.
(Waffle House uniform sold separately.)
-Barbie comes with platinum blonde hair with black roots showing.
-Miracle-o'-procreation button - Press button on Barbie's back and she's
pregnant...again!
-Action bitch pull string - Barbie can say 11 phrases including "I tol' yew
fuggin' kids to stay the hell outta my yard!", "Git me anuther beer,
baybee.", "Whur's my fuggin' cigarettes?", and more.

Also Available:

Barbie double wide dream trailer. Mobile home fun complete with stained
carpet, broken steps, and TV set. Barbie's wormy pet cat Rufus, also
included. Disassembles for use with the Tornado Action Play set (Sold
separately).

Barbie dream car. 1982 Camaro in mix-n'-match colors and smokin' chokin'
exhaust, and coat hanger radio antenna. Holds two redneck Barbies. (Smoke
non-toxic unless inhaled.)

Abusive boyfriend Ken with Ass kickin' leg action and pimp slap backhand.
With cowboy boots and bottle of 'Jack.' Curses, and mumbles when string is
pulled.

Married life Ken with Beer bustin' expanding waist. Molded to recliner,
with TV remote, beer, chips. Says "Shut up woman." And "Git me a beer."
(Waist cannot be reduced once expanded.)

[winfred]

one day a father gave each 3 of his sons a duck and said I want you to go sell this duck
for as much as you can the 1st son sells his duck comes home and says dad I sold my duck
for $5 the dad says good on you son go buy your self a drink. The 2nd also sells his duck
for $5 and the dad says the samething. The 3rd son sees this gorgeous blond with big tits
so he goes up to her and says I give you this duck if you have sex with me she thinks
about it and finally says yes so they go back to her place and after they had finished
having sex she says that was the best sex i have ever had so she says I'll give you your
duck back for another fuck he staright away say yes and they were half way through when
the duck runs out of her house and on to the road before they put their clothes on and
chase it it get run over by a limosine the driver quickly gets out and says to the boy
I'm sorry I ran over your duck here's $40 to buy a new one and for the emontional pain
the boy finish fucking the blonde they exchange phone numbers and the boy runs home and
says to his dad I got a fuck for a duck a duck for a fuck and 40 bucks for a fucked up
duck. the father then took him out on the town and both
extermly drunk