One more hint, have in this year already read about 10 broken selector shift valves, mainly on 5HP18.Replacement Selector Shift Valve: 1056 327 173 (ZF Part number). The selector valve inside the valve body was originally made out of a kind of plastic/resin, that breaks on many transmissions, so you have the feeling first that shifting is hard and then you can shift and shift and nothing happens actually inside the transmission, this part is now made of a new kind of reinforced 'plastic/metal' material, also when ATF gets hot, the old material expands and shifting gets harder.
example Selector Valve http://www.thectsc.com/products/sele...alve-84-3.html
So basically the same problem as with the small plastic balls in the valve body which get smaller and smaller and finally disappear.
cases I know of within last month, 1 x on an E32 730 M60B30 with 5HP18, another one on an E36 M3 with 5HP18, and one case on an E34 with a 5HP18 and another one on a E36 with 5HP18.
That part is included in every valve body overhault kit, position 50.020 Valve Body Kit 5HP18
To replace that part you have to remove the transmission oil pan, the trans filter, then unbolt the valve body and drop it a bit and then you can change that part. No need to disassemble the valve body, but of you want to do so, here we have some pics when we do that in my garage for valve body overhaul Deep In E32 http://e32b12.blogspot.com/search/label/5HP18
Broken part: