If you are doubting about getting a 3 series, then it seems to me you´re really fed up with the car. Think real good if this is the car you want to be driving for a couple more years before spending any money on it. If I could give you some advice, it would be, find a E36 325i or even better an M3 you could drive in a couple of hours and get directly in your car afterwards and thrash the puppy, I think you will be fixing your baby up. V8 or straight six ? You' ll be missing the torque too much!!!!

As for suspension, why not try Koni adjustables with H&R springs or maybe even the H&R, KW coilover kits, height and damper adjustable.

Best of luck in diciding.