°°°° February joke (- thread)°°°°

[632 Regal]

A cop visits a redneck on a hot day.

He observes the redneck's dog tied under a tree, going and obviously in heat.

He says to the redneck, "Your dog is in heat." "No," says the redneck, "she's under a tree in the shade."

"No," says the cop, "your dog needs to be bred!"

"Nah," says the redneck, "she just ate."

"No," says the cop, "your dog needs to have sex!" "Oh," says the redneck, "well go ahead - I always wanted a police dog!"

[gale]

HAVING MUM OVER FOR DINNER


Ben invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal,
Ben's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Ben's roommate,
Jennifer, was. Ben's Mum had long been suspicious of the platonic
relationship between Ben and Jennifer, and this had only made her more
curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she
started to wonder if there was more between Ben and Jennifer than met the
eye.

Reading his Mum's thoughts, Ben volunteered, 'I know what you must
be thinking, but I assure you Jennifer and I are just roommates.'

About a week later, Jennifer came to Ben saying, 'Ever since your mother
came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle.
You don't suppose she took it, do you?'

Ben said, 'Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure.
So he sat down and wrote:

__________________________________________________ ______

Dear Mum,

I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not
saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that
one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Ben

__________________________________________________ ________

Several days later, Ben received an email back from his mother that read:
__________________________________________________ __

Dear Son,

I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Jennifer, I'm not saying that you
'do not' sleep with Jennifer. But the fact remains that if Jennifer is
in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love, Mum

LESSON OF THE DAY -
*NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER*