So, as it turns out:

1 - Oil change. Painless.

2 - Reset SRS light. Painless.

3 - Immaculate (they said it looked brand new) guibo. Yay!

4 - No visible wear on drive shaft / center bearing. Yay!

5 - Wheel bearings sound fine. Yay!

6 - Road test reveals tire noise from cupping, which could easily be a result of driving on the shimmy for a couple thousand miles.

Best $100.00 I've ever spent on this car. Can't wait for these crummy tires to wear out so I can get rid of that noise. Track day, anyone?