::.. Wondering why you enjoy the company of your e34?

[Qube]

http://www.chris-longhurst.com/speak...nannycars.html

Speaking about new cars... What's the point? Have people grown so lazy now that they don't know how to turn vehicle headlights on and off. Can we suddenly not work the windscreen wipers? Holy Jebus - it's annoying when you get into a car now and there's bells and chimes for ignition keys, handbrakes, doors, windows, seatbelts etc. etc. Then you're driving along and the car decides it's too dark and puts the lights on. And You Can't Override It! Then it does the same with the windscreen wipers. Drop of rain? Turn on the windscreen wipers so that they screech back and forth across a dry windscreen, ruining the wiper blades and driving the driver insane. Can you turn this function off? Of course not. It's all very helpful. NOT.

So if the manufacturers can put all this "useful" gadgetry in a car, why the hell do we have a single "check engine" light? Why don't we have a multi-function display to actually tell us what's wrong with the engine, instead of just "check engine". Despite being the single most complex piece of machinery in the entire car, all it's faults can be summed up with "check engine." Timing off? Check engine. Fuel cap loose? Check engine. Oil-starved engine about to explode? Check engine. Seatbelt undone? Has it's own light! Key in ignition? Has it's own bell! Apparently, it's more important that we have lights to state the bleeding obvious. Just so long as the drivers side window can be made to totally retract with a single button press. God knows it's so stressful to keep your finger on the button for three seconds.

The page had me entertained for 20 minutes. I found it while looking for a general guide to shelf life for engine oil. On that note, check out the other links on that page too



EDIT: Sorry, didn't realize there are no links on that page. Here's one where I came from: http://www.chris-longhurst.com/carbibles/additives.html

[Jimbo]

A very entertaining, and somewhat scary read. I definitely agree with the author about Onstar and radar assisted cruise, both quite disconcerting. I dont really think ABS is quite as terrible as he made it out to be though. In the majority of situations I think it will help even the best drivers.

Just think about what these cars will be like to own when 10+ years old, imagine all of the electrical idiosyncrasies of the E34 (LKM, door lock actuators, sword...) multiplied by 100.

[ryan roopnarine]

shelf life of regular (syn or dino) oil is about 8 years out of sunlight and at room temperature. of course, in 8 years, technology will advance some (ie go from SM grade to SN grade, et cetera).

[632 Regal]

Interesting on the oil additive FTC lawsuits.

[uscharalph]

Man those cars are going to be hell to keep going 10+ years from now.

[wingman]

My father drives an E46 330i. He recently had an experience with a truck pulling out in front of him when he was doing about 120kph. He braked so hard that the computer took over and pulled his car back to 40kph within a poomfteen of a second. I agree that there is some rubbish on new cars but I'm glad that my parents are still alive because of some new technology.

[ryan roopnarine]

methinks the author exaggerates too much for me to find anything humorous/believable about anything he wrote. he goes out of his way to deride abs, and make himself seem knowledgeable subjects automotive, yet in the comparison between the chevy impala and the wrx, claims that the impala has twice the cylinders as the wrx....unless they make a 3 cylinder wrx in the 2004 MY model, he's blowing smoke. im the first to deride the 3800, as chevy seems to LOOVE to present it as some type of technological marvel (its almost 4 litres), but in this case, he's just made up something to prove his opinion. someone who claims to know something about cars should have no excuse for trying to make something up like that.

....luvvvs mah ABS
....go ahead, pull your ABS pump fuse on your e34 if you hate it so much, see how much of a manly man driver you are in the rain with your 50/50 weight and RWD. it isn't worth the hassle for the "feedback"
...would be lying if i said that driving it with it turned off for periods of time hasn't made me a better driver, though.

[DanDombrowski]

I didn't notice where he referenced his degree in mechanical design or his own experience in designing cars. Did anyone else see it?

[jplacson]

he might've meant to say twice the displacement. The article seems to have been written as an emotional outburst rather than a factual statement.

take it as an opinion, rather than a legal document.

it's funny and it makes sense.

with regards to ABS... I have to agree to some extent... but not with regards to Bimmers. My gripe with ABS is that it's such a marketing term now. ABS will NOT make your brakes better. If your car has tiny crappy disc brakes, ABS will not improve them. ABS will hide the fact that they lock up sooner. ABS brakes on a tiny disc will not be better than a car with larger vented discs. I think manufacturers should never have introduced ABS on cars with small discs... it makes drivers overly confident that they have "smart" brakes.

BTW, my E34 doesn't have ABS (it never did). I took the time to attend BMW driving school and told the instructor to teach me how to brake properly on both wet and dry roads.

[Jay 535i]

Yeah, if this was intended as a sort of comedy act, then okay. Fine. But it's not funny.

If he's serious, then he's a nut.